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The Time I Nearly Made It at Flag As An Out of Org Trainee

Discussion in 'Stories From Inside Scientology' started by onthepes, Sep 9, 2012.

  1. onthepes

    onthepes Patron with Honors

    I thought I would tell my story. Something feels a little stuck at the moment, and I wanted to keep moving. I was in Scientology for 7 years, 4 of those on staff. I do not wish anyone at my old Org, any bad. I know they would not think highly of me being here, but I can understand where they are coming from, as I was there myself until about a year ago. I did the Bridge up to ARC Straightwire and did all the Basic Books in the Course Room, a string of Div 6 Courses and the PTS/SP Course and Pro-TRs. I got a lot out of some things , but nothing out of others. I consider now that 2 years in Scientology without being on staff would have been adequate. I made some lovely friends there and hope they are doing well,. One day we may catch up but it won't be in the Org I can assure you.

    I am really writing this not just as a protest towards Scientology think and management, but more of a broader protest against "It's my way or the highway" mentality. This is not just synanomous with Scientology, but also with a number of workplaces and families I have experienced. But I am writing about the Flag experience as I have been here for a few weeks and it may be real for a lot of you here.

    I left my job of 10 years just before the Basics Release in 2007. I wrote an e-mail to my work colleagues thanking them for their companionship and that I was going to be trained as an auditor (I used the term counsellor so others would have some reality) in America. They were shocked. Hardly anyone knew I was a Scientologist. Now I know why. Something within me was embarrassed about it. I knew Scientology had a bad name. Shit, I did not realise how bad until I came here, amongst many other sites.

    So I hugged my sons goodbye (they also looked a bit confused). I told them I thought I would be gone for 6 to 9 months. It was Class V Auditor training so realistically I may have died at Flag. I felt really good at that point. I had handled quite a lot in my life and this was the logical step. I went to Sydney on standby and got a phone call from Flag to "come to Flag now". This is how Scientology works. I was pretty rattled and worked with a senior terminal at my Org to organize the plane flight. Why the fuck you have to go to Flag to be interviewed first before qualling for training is beyond me. My sons thought it was weird. Why not do it at an Advanced Org in your own country and THEN go to Flag AFTER qualling. Either way, I was off.

    Now I had been told it was the friendliest place on the planet (cough cough). I went there with high hopes and a strong determinism. And then.......
  2. Sindy

    Sindy Crusader

    :drama: Oh yes. I have some traffic with this Flag OOT scene...continue.
  3. onthepes

    onthepes Patron with Honors

    Part 2:

    So I got to "friendliest place on the planet" (more coughing). I had not slept for 2 days. I was shattered. I waited at the airport in America for 2 hours. The van arrived from Flag. The guy got my stuff and another OOT's gear and threw it into the back. I felt sick and awkward. I sat next to a guy who was from another Org in America. He was early 20s. I tried to make small talk. He had that look of "there is nothing as important as Scientology and I don't want to talk about anything else". Again, more awkwardness.

    We got to the hotel . The guy who dropped us off was Q&Aing with a Sea Org guy there. The discussion was about whether we were meant to stay there. (Jesus Christ). By the way - there must be something still on this for me as it is difficult for me to write it. However, I will plow on.

    So he comes back to me and the other fellow and says "you can stay here". He left in his van. This really gruff, don't fuck with me Latin American with a moustache out of the old West said "Come with me". He looked really angry. Then I made a grave error in judgement. I said "Thanks mate". He looked right through me and said "I am not 'MATE'. I am not your 'MATE'". I started to feel that I made a wrong decision.

    I barely slept. It was 2.30am. I had a day in bed. I went to Flag in the afternoon. I did an orientation. I then waited at the MAA for an interview. I was told to "come back tomorrow". One guy - another latin looking fellow - came up to me and said "What are you doing?" as I sat at the MAAs. I told him. He said I should be productive. To this day I still feel a little guilty about not being productive.

    I finally got into the MAAs office the following day. First I was grilled about my history of meditation. I told them I had done that "ONCE" in 3 years. That was the utter truth. I was told on my first day in the Org that I had to "knock that off",so I did. One time, I felt low and so I did it.

    Then another guy came and grilled me. I had 3 Ethics Officers grill me about the same thing. I actually ended in tears. They would not stop asking me: "How many times have you done it?" "Do you still want to do it?" "Have you thought about it?". Then it would be silent....and then...."about this meditation". Now, I wonder how accurate the e-meter is. If I had honestly meditated once in a year, why was I being hammered about it. Next question: "Did you tell a lie?". I said "No, of course not."
    again - "Did you tell a lie!!" This went on. I was jet lagged and a mess. On to the next day
  4. Sindy

    Sindy Crusader

    Unbelievable :no: but very believable....please continue.
  5. Kookaburra

    Kookaburra Gold Meritorious Patron

    I think that may be rather old information.....:eyeroll:

    It used to be an in tech place, also. :whistling:
  6. onthepes

    onthepes Patron with Honors

    Part 3:

    Sorry if this is taking long. I will try and end cycle: So the next day I was fucked. I hated Flag. I hated the no smiling; the glaring. I understand that if you do get on the training there, it can be great. However, I have no reality.

    I forgot my belt. I had to go and buy one. I hopped of the bus and accidentally walked into the staff mess hall. Everyone turned and looked at me and a lady said "What are you doing here?" She grilled me and I walked out. I then did a few chores, like cleaning and lifting furniture.

    Later, word had spread about me walking into the mess hall. I went to the MAAs office. The interview had changed. It was now "What were you doing in the staff lunch room?' "Why did you walk in there?" "Are you lying??" Again I was crying.

    Security was really high for the Basics Release. So they thought I was some sort of criminal. I was no fucking criminal. I was interviewed by 3 people to try and make me crack. The last guy was the biggest prick of them all. "ARE YOU LYING?' he said. Then he asked me how I got into Scientology. I said "I saw John Travolta on tv and liked his presence". He said "Do you want to get close to John Travolta. Do you want to hurt him?!"""" WTF. Wow. Get me out of here, i thought. I went home to sleep.

    Day 4. I decided I wanted out of this hole. I told them. more in a minute....
  7. sallydannce

    sallydannce Gold Meritorious Patron

    Bastards! Insane system! :angry:

    onthepes, thank you for opening up and sharing this with us. :)
  8. Sindy

    Sindy Crusader

    OMG, I am in tears. :angry:

    Also, you're not taking too long. Take your time.
  9. onthepes

    onthepes Patron with Honors

    So I was determined that enough was enough. I advised the MAA that I was not sure if I wanted to be there. He said "I don't think we want you here either". Then their boss (I assume) sat down to talk with me. I don't know his post. He read "Safeguarding the Tech" to me. I gathered it was due to my meditating once in my 3 years in Scientology.

    I was routed off. I was escorted back to my hotel. The wanker who had kept asking me "What are you doing?" pulled my bag apart. There was a glossy magazine with a nice looking girl on the front. He glared at me "What is this?" I said "Just a magazine". He looked all through it. He then left my clothes and everything on the ground. I had to put it all back.

    I was driven to a hotel near the airport which I paid for. There was a guy who was to stay with me. He looked awkward and apologetic. I asked him "What are you doing staying with me?' He said "I have to make sure you make it to the Airport". OMFG.

    So I left Flag and never returned. Quite a deal happened after that but this was one of the big ones that stuck.

    I have never told anybody including family or friends this story. I have held it for 5 years. Thank you for listening.
  10. sallydannce

    sallydannce Gold Meritorious Patron

    Yeah, I'm pretty moved here too Sindy. The degradation inflicted...:angry:

    Like Sindy says onthepes, take your time. Breathe deeply. You are being courageous. You are amongst friends here.
  11. Sindy

    Sindy Crusader

    This makes me sick. I swear Scientology, especially Flag has been taken over by Nazis or worse. They seem satanic.

    Thank you for telling this story. My god, you were the only sane one in that scene.
  12. onthepes

    onthepes Patron with Honors

    Thank you Sindy, Sallydance and all. What saddens me is 2 things: I have been too embarrassed to tell anyone before; there are people here who suffered this type of treatment on a regular basis, for far longer periods. I am taking a minute to quietly reflect and send some compassion their way. Oh, and to give you some idea on the attention they gave to my folder. I was advised to go back to Australia and do a program that included "The PTS/SP Course". I had already done it.
  13. Sindy

    Sindy Crusader

    Wow. These people have lost the plot -- truly.

    I will tell some Flag stories at another time. They have to do with when my husband was an OOT. I actually had to go get him. He was supposed to be there for 8 weeks and he was there for 2 1/4 years and we had just gotten married when he left. It was a nightmare but I digress.

    I want to tell you this quick little story of something intrusive that happened to me before I left and it was not as bad as what you have written here but what you have written just reminded me of it.

    When I was last on staff, I was in the reg office with a young SO member. I walked out of the room for a bit to go get something and when I came back in he told me that while I was gone he had gone through the pictures on my phone and found a naked photo of my husband.

    Now one time while my husband and I were being silly I took this photo and forgot that I hadn't erased it and here was this 20 year old SO member going through my fucking phone, without my permission.

    I was so embarrassed but I was more pissed than I was embarrassed and because this guy was 20 and out of his SO element and we were alone and I could get away with it, I totally let him have it and he totally back pedaled and apologized and told me that the reason he did this was that he was so used to that on the SO base where seniors go through the phones, computers, briefcases, drawers, etc. all the time to find incriminating things or anything that would embarrass Scientology if it were found.

    I knew I was in a cult then. That creeped me out.

    At that point I was just trying to figure out a way to get out without admitting it to myself.
  14. Sindy

    Sindy Crusader

    Thank you for your story. You're an excellent writer. I'd like to hear more.
  15. onthepes

    onthepes Patron with Honors

    Thanks Sindy. Firstly, WOW . Your husband went for 8 weeks and was there for 2 1/4 years. WTF!!!! I met a guy there who was a brother of a colleague of mine from my Org. He had been there 6 years. I wonder what sort of product they were trying to get for his Org. I found out that he finally made it back after 7 years. He must have been amazing . Maybe they built an Ideal Org out of him. Put the roof where his hair used to be before he left for Flag. OH, BTW, I am glady you got hubby back. I hoped you cooked him a nice nutritious meal. He would have loved it.

    Yes, I have also had pics for my own amusement on my phone. The thing is they are for your own viewing and they were also of your husband, so nice work on that one.

    Even the so called wogs (god I hate that term) know not to rifle through a person's phone or personal belongings. I hope you tore him a new ass. Thank you for your nice acks, I do feel better now.

    You know Sindy, a big reason I had not told this story before is the programming we received. I would never seek sympathy, no matter how gutted I felt, nor was I meant to have a "Case" on post . Actually that was my second choice for a nick here: "SpecialCase"
  16. Sindy

    Sindy Crusader

    Yes, that no case on post, no reaction, no emotion was all about turning us into good little introverted robots for the cult and that is all it was, period. Life is to be lived and felt with no fucking apologies. Excuse my language. Sometimes I just have to let it rip :)
  17. onthepes

    onthepes Patron with Honors

    Thanks Sindy. Yes, please let it rip. We should be able to live our lives. To feel; to reach for whatever we admire; drink a fine beverage; indulge in good food; hug your partner; crank up the music; speak the truth. I love it that you do. A colleague I was working with recently (yes I am no longer at that job) was particularly reserved in manner. One day he had an injustice by management in the workplace (sound familiar?). He vented like a bull released from its enclosure. He said to me "Sorry, you mustn't like me much after that". I told him "Actually, I like you more now. You showed me that you are most definitely a human being. Thank you"
  18. Sindy

    Sindy Crusader

    :thumbsup: Indeed! :)
  19. Kookaburra

    Kookaburra Gold Meritorious Patron

    I think it is satanic. What goes on in Scientology these days is unbelievably evil. It probably always has been, but it is really coming to fruition in the last few years. The foul nasty bits that I at one time thought were exceptions....just some individual asshole with a heap of MUs....has become SOP.

    Thank-you for the story, onthepes. Every little bit contributes to the whole truth, the big picture.
  20. onthepes

    onthepes Patron with Honors

    Thank you everyone. I like the fact that I have friends here. I am sure, regardless of the fact that we would not set foot in an Org again (I wouldn't anyway), that we all left some friends behind. As misguided as myself and my fellow staff were, I met some wonderful people there (and some pricks of course). Now, I need to move on and make some new friends, because I have closed that door. I guess that is the beauty of the Internet. Making new friends. I will be off here in a few minutes to go and enjoy a movie (because I can).