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Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology PART 4

Discussion in 'Evaluating and Criticising Scientology' started by HelluvaHoax!, Apr 25, 2017.

  1. Dave B.

    Dave B. Maximus Ultimus Mostimus

    "Well, we carefully and meticulously collected all 6,926,409 dust motes and
    stored them in a really sturdy shoe box where they are safe."


    Because after all they were the dust particles on the **LRH** video so obviously they're UPSTAT dust particles!
  2. HelluvaHoax!

    HelluvaHoax! Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on

    REF: Scientology (again) caves in and settles decade-old lawsuit so it can avoid trial.

    Outstanding essay by Mike Rinder: "Laura DeCrescenzo Hammered Scientology"

    Discussion thread on ESMB: LINK


    Nominated for one of the "Stupidest Moments In Scientology". . .

    The moment when "total cause over life" OTs
    are total effect of lawsuits that they lose.

    Like the decade-long lawsuit brought by Lauren DeCrescenzo---one of the COS' (Crimewave of Scientology's) many victims who was enslaved as a child under a billion-year contract. On the eve of trial the cult blinked and flunked the "confront & shatter an SP" drill----offering a gargantuan cash settlement that would erase the cult's engram.

    Cause Over Life! Apparently civil litigation is not part of "life". It's remarkably similar to the time Dr. Hubbard took his own life---which likewise was apparently not part of "life" either.

    In both cases, the cult "shed their encumbrances":
    • Hubbard shed his MEST encumbrance; his meat body AND his Motorhome Escape Solution Technology (his trusty BlueBird jail/judgement avoidance tech).
    • Miscavige followed Dr. Hubbard's successful actions and shed his MEST encumbrance too; When facing a PR meltdown trial exposing the cult's human rights atrocities against a child--and the nightmare of having to having to personally appear in a public trial where he would be cross-examined & crucified under oath--Miscavige caved in and heroically sacrificed his personal MEST (Money Every Scientologist Tithed).
    Scn Koan: Why is it that the SPs (degraded small beings) always defeat the OTs (miraculous big beings)?


    Last edited: Jul 30, 2018
    Type4_PTS, tesseract, Dave B. and 2 others like this.
  3. Clay Pigeon

    Clay Pigeon Gold Meritorious Patron

    "a certifiably psychopathic liar"

    I didn't know certificates were issued for that. How much do they cost and where do I apply?

    HH, I have given some gentle commentary on this allegation which I shall not be so rude as to repeat in your home.


    This post is to segue back to a possible renewal of our badminton game on the Garcias thread...
  4. Clay Pigeon

    Clay Pigeon Gold Meritorious Patron

    If you check the recent citation on the Garcia's thread you might find it hard to deny it is as fresh today as it was when it was declared D.O.A. by a Greek Chorus of Authorities whose ranks have grown quite thin...
  5. Dave B.

    Dave B. Maximus Ultimus Mostimus

    Yeah, I turned on the TV last night and that was all I heard about, Dianetics. Channel after channel, Dianetics this, Dianetics that. Then I went down to the corner store to get some twinkies and two urban yoots were standing there in front of the store and I overheard them discussing Dianetics. Then today at the doctor in the waiting room I picked up a magazine and ... yep you guessed it Dianetics on the cover! Driving home I saw an airplane sky-writing something, WTF? Dianetics in the sky! Drove home and as I pulled into my driveway my neighbor came over and the first words out of his mouth.... Dianetics!

    It's everywhere I tellz ya!

    This piqued my interest. What is this thing Dianetics that's seemingly everywhere? So I looked it up online and was a bit confused cuz you can only get Dianetics at something called a $cientology organization. Strange, if it's so great how come you don't go to a Dianetics place? Anyway, I went to the $cientology place, kind of hard to find, it was in an industrial building in a weird part of town.

    So I went in and asked them for some Dianetics. But they signed me up for $cientology courses! WTF? I told them I wanted Dianetics cuz it's everywhere and I was told by a guy named Clay Pigeon that it's fresh. So it must be great! I keep hearing about it. But they said it's "old tech" and they don't use it anymore.

    You can imagine my disappointment.
    Last edited: Jul 31, 2018
    Type4_PTS, Clay Pigeon and tesseract like this.
  6. HelluvaHoax!

    HelluvaHoax! Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on

    Curiously, no certs were issued to Dr. Hubbard to validate his prodigious lying----very possibly because when asked at the examiner if he had any Doubts or Reservations about attaining the state of psychopathic liar, he replied with a grin as wide as his F/N: "But, I am not a liar! However, if i happened to be a psychopathic liar, I certainly would not lie about it!"

    Last edited: Jul 31, 2018
  7. Clay Pigeon

    Clay Pigeon Gold Meritorious Patron

    A few years ago National Lampoon published a list of "Great Disappointments". Wonderful and hilarious! It included such things as Leisure Suits, "Situation Ethics" and the Beefalo. Surely with the gross hyperbole of DMSMH Dianetics was a fitting entry.


    If you haven't seen it yet you have a treat waiting for you as The Lampoon's late 80's send up of "Diarrhetics" is published on the 'net.
  8. Clay Pigeon

    Clay Pigeon Gold Meritorious Patron

    Back at FCDC the office of LRH was the actual office where he had worked for years and still hanging on the wall one could examine his PhD from the Sequoia University diploma mill.

    I suppose that would make him a liscenced prevaricator; not that he needed it as his Poetic Liscence was Commercial Grade
    HelluvaHoax! likes this.
  9. HelluvaHoax!

    HelluvaHoax! Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on

    Excellent point!

    Which brings up another one of the "Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology". .

    The moment "DR" Hubbard proudly awarded himself a PhD
    (as if nobody would ever find out about his reprehensibly inept lie)​

    Wait this is a 2 for 1. . .and, also. . .

    The moment in 1966 "DR" Hubbard was caught lying about being a "Dr"
    and in an even more audacious lie, ordered staff to stop
    using his PhD status because he was so much better and statusy
    than the "murderers" that the society called "doctors".


    Sure Ron, we believe you. We know that whenever you majorly screw up, you pretend that you are so OT it was your superpowers that tripped you up. Like the time you suddenly dropped dead----because you were so OT you couldn't operate with a crappy weak little mest body. So you exteriorized to the amazement of Scientologists who were overjoyed that finally someone PROVED that a real OT had real OT powers.
    Clay Pigeon likes this.
  10. guanoloco

    guanoloco As-Wased the time he was hitting on Dart Smohen's mom and Dart's grandad socked him in the eye and threw him in his car and the next day he tells the org he got a black eye from being extetior and walking the body into a wall.
  11. HelluvaHoax!

    HelluvaHoax! Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on

    . . .

    I. At the core of Scientology's hoax is STOLEN VALOR: It is prodigiously showcased by Hubbard variously claiming to be a heavily decorated war hero, PhD, nuclear physicist, reincarnated Buddha, infallibly omniscient/omnipotent OT who single-handedly discovered all of life's secrets---and supernatural savior of all beings on this planet and throughout the entire universe.

    II. At the core of Scientology's Stolen Valor gimmick is Scientology's senior, sacred scriptural sacrament--LYING: One can literally open up ANY page of Hubbard's 10m published words and quickly discover the refined CultCraft technology known as The Big Lie. Likewise, one can go on the internet on any given day or hour and click on any story, blogsite or article about Scientology (including anything that the COS itself publishes about itself) and find Scientologists practicing religious acts of (divinely disingenuous) devotion and worship such as this:

    David Miscavige has been honored by the Columbian National Police
    for his
    “humanitarian contributions” to the country
    with a “Transparency Medal.”

    [justify]Scientology's leader, Mr. David Miscavige, proudly shares his huge win on his own website, stating that: "...the medal represents courage, bravery and honesty and the display of the highest ideals, morals and ethical values." Furthermore Miscavige's website briefs the world that: "Mr. Miscavige was thanked for devoting resources to bring messages of peace and reconciliation as well as making other contributions to Colombian society through the outreach programs of the Church". [/justify]

    Amazing, right? Sure it is!

    Unless one is aware of the third leg of the cult's tech triptych:

    III. At the core of Scientology's lying is STATUS: Particularly the game "where everyone wins" called one upmanship, where one is able to claim victory at any and every given moment by simply (in Hubbard's words) "manufacturing evidence" of superior status (e.g. Clear, OT, et al). The entire "Bridge" and Gradation Chart, itself, is and articulated expression of Hubbard's hyperbolically hubristic hoax, played out as a menu and price list for the all-you-can-eat, status gluttony olympics.

    It is not by mistake nor coincidence that after 68 years, the Church of Scientology's number one marketing "successful action" to raise billions is contained in the countless marketing exhortations and demands to its parishioners to "UP YOUR STATUS!!!" (i.e. one upmanship).

    In Scientology, no story is complete until one fast-forwards to the last minute or chapter. That's where the "cognition" happens. Here you go, humbly tendered as a gift to ESMB-kind. . . LINK TO ARTICLE

    Colombia’s police embarrassed over decoration of Scientology chief
    by Adriaan Alsema August 1, 2018
    (excerpted quotes)

    Colombia’s National Police clashed with the Scientology Church on Wednesday over the decoration of controversial religious leader David Miscavige.
    The chief of the National Police, however, said in a press release that the institution never decorated the controversial Scientology leader and knew nothing about the pompous ceremony in Barbados in which retired General Carlos Mena took part. According to newspaper El Espectador, National Police chief Jorge Hernando Nieto said he knew nothing of Mena’s trip to Barbados and was not authorized to represent the police or give away medals without institutional permission.
    According to Nieto, retired generals are only allowed to put their uniform back on on authorized occasions and are not allowed to act on behalf of the institution.

    Holy Hell, Scientology has really painted themselves into a corner on this one, they've been caught! Debunked! There is no solution!

    Wait. . . there is hope.

    Scientology can keep Scientology working, they can lie.

    Scientology then sent out a press release in which the organization said that the medal had been signed off on by Nieto himself in December last year already. but “could not be given in due time because Mr. Miscavige was not in Colombia.”

    Scientology is the only game in the universe where everyone wins lies.

    Last edited: Aug 2, 2018
    tesseract likes this.
  12. Clay Pigeon

    Clay Pigeon Gold Meritorious Patron

    "At the core..."


    Hubbard's military record had NOTHING WHATSOEVER to do with my interest in the subject, my decision to study, my study or practice of it or my withdrawal from it.
  13. HelluvaHoax!

    HelluvaHoax! Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on



    That reminds me of the time L. Ron Hubbard was recognized for his humanitarian achievements in discovering the Fair Game technology of how to predict and control HE&R (Human Emotion & Reaction).

    This allowed North Korea to remove counter-intentions and other-intentions from their population, so they could flourish and prosper like Scientology. And, they spared no expense to show their gratitude.

    Last edited: Aug 2, 2018
  14. HelluvaHoax!

    HelluvaHoax! Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on

    Oh? Thanks for the clarification. . .

    Then it must have been that you were overwhelmingly impressed with his scientific research!

    I'd have to agree with you that Ron clearly "rose above" suspicion--because obviously scientists, doctors and nuclear physicists don't lie.
    Clay Pigeon likes this.
  15. Type4_PTS

    Type4_PTS Diamond Invictus SP

    Unlike yourself though most people would leave alone a mental health therapy whose author has been spectacularly exposed as a liar and was unable to even help himself when he had obvious mental health issues.

    Would you willingly get an operation from a brain surgeon who's been exposed as a fraud that never attended medical school and some of his former patients are stumbling around with severe brain damage?

    Hubbard's STOLEN VALOR, lies about his education, research, efficacy of his therapy, and many other things obviously does nothing to deter you from promoting Hubbard and his "tech", but 99.9999% of people would turn and run away from those promoting it if they were aware of the extent of the fraud.
    Last edited: Aug 2, 2018
    Enthetan, Irayam and HelluvaHoax! like this.
  16. Clay Pigeon

    Clay Pigeon Gold Meritorious Patron

    As I essayed recently on another thread, where you are welcome to dispute, Hubbard is not rightly viewed as a liar
  17. HelluvaHoax!

    HelluvaHoax! Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on

    Ordinarily, no.

    However, if that surgeon was Buddha in a past life, I don't see any downside risk at all.

  18. Clay Pigeon

    Clay Pigeon Gold Meritorious Patron

    But what if he were Machiavelli?
  19. HelluvaHoax!

    HelluvaHoax! Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on

    Hey, start a new thread. Because this is the stupid thread and your quote (in red above) more properly belongs in the ESMB section reserved for:


    I think you will have tens of millions of people joining you on that thread who agree with you. They are from Scientology, the world's fastest growing religion. These folks never lie.
    tesseract likes this.
  20. Type4_PTS

    Type4_PTS Diamond Invictus SP

    You must of been smoking some extra-potent weed when you wrote that post! :whistling: