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Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology PART 4

Discussion in 'Evaluating and Criticising Scientology' started by HelluvaHoax!, Apr 25, 2017.

  1. JackStraw

    JackStraw Silver Meritorious Patron

    When you become OT you get a cert, right?

    So, OT stands for Official Twit? (a?) :biggrin:

  2. HelluvaHoax!

    HelluvaHoax! Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on


    Or perhaps, Operating Troll.

    Because OTs are, by default, proxy trolls that "attack" Dr. Hubbard's enemies (squirrels, investigative journalists, Xenu, Psychs, Whistleblowers, Apostates, Refund Seekers, et al).

    As Scientologists advance to the upper OT levels, they also acquire the miraculous paranormal power to troll themselves, by endlessly searching inside their own mind for engrams, implants, BTs, evil purposes, crimes and the reason they were unable to attain ANY of the powers of a Clear or OT.

    Part of zero-flow trolling is intentionally attacking your own mind, your own evil, and your assets/finances--borrowing yourself into a donation-status-eternity-buying-frenzy, until you are at last bankrupted.

    Scientologists don't think of themselves as trolls. They prefer to think they are Gods saving the planet, that are being devT'd by repo men towing their car away and sheriff's office deputies breaking their door down and hurling routing all their MEST possessions out onto the front lawn.
    Last edited: Nov 10, 2018
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  3. Clay Pigeon

    Clay Pigeon Gold Meritorious Patron

  4. HelluvaHoax!

    HelluvaHoax! Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on

    I am enjoying your placard wielding protest vs. the COS (Crimewave Of Scientology).

    I just noticed the counter-protest that just arrived on behalf of Scientology, supporting Dr. Hubbard and his Bridge To Total Freedom; their placards reading: "I'M WITH HIM!" above a photo of Xenu sporting a big theta grin.

    I guess that makes us the DBs (DeBlorables).
    Last edited: Nov 14, 2018
  5. HelluvaHoax!

    HelluvaHoax! Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on


    "Obnosis" is a highly desired advanced state of ability & knowingness within Scientology.

    However the exact moment anyone actually achieves obnosis (the ability to "observe the obvious") they immediately disclaim, disown, disavow and depart the painfully obvious hoax called Scientology.

    Last edited: Nov 16, 2018
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  6. HelluvaHoax!

    HelluvaHoax! Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on

    postcript note:

    The word OBNOSIS (contrary to what bitter Scientology critics unfairly claim) is not a worthless word without real value in the real world.

    It's worth 12 points.


    Do your next Bridge step, people! While there still time, before the planet blows up---on this planet!


    SCIENTOLOGY STABLE DATUM: When in doubt always end any sentence with the gravitas inducing phrase "on this planet". Then beings will know you have knowingness and certainy, as opposed to just making shit up like Ron.
  7. ILove2Lurk

    ILove2Lurk Lisbeth Salander

    I'm still waiting for Ron to bring back his newfound OT discoveries from Target II
    from his 32 years of advanced research. Hoping he would further streamline the
    bridge or come up with a "one-shot OT" process.
    Wouldn't that make sense? Just wait it out? :shrug:
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  8. pineapple

    pineapple Silver Meritorious Patron

    Ron: Be three feet behind your wallet!

    PC: (Puts down wallet, backs up expectantly.)

    Ron: Thank you! (Grabs wallet, runs.)
    Last edited: Nov 16, 2018
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  9. HelluvaHoax!

    HelluvaHoax! Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on

    Cut to: A very agitated PEE WEE HERMAN who whines in a nasally insistent & bratty way

    "Okay Ronnnnnnnnnnnn, we're waiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiittttttttiiinnnngggg!"
    JustSheila likes this.
  10. guanoloco

    guanoloco As-Wased

    Let me see, here...where was "wait" on those little Ron scales?

    Native State
    Not Know
    Know About

    I'm sure there's something stupid in this but I've got to get to an appointment right now. I leave it to others to explore. Maybe Billy can let us know?
    Last edited: Nov 16, 2018
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  11. HelluvaHoax!

    HelluvaHoax! Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on


    The root word "wall" seems to be a reappearing theme throughout Scientology!

    Higher toned beings always command lower toned beings to "come into present time" by touching walls.

    Bigger beings always assist Scientologists (degraded beings) to become OT by commanding them to "confront" (pay for) the "wall" of fire.

    And Dr. Hubbard discovered the ultimate process to increase havingness, by running the Super-Havingness Rundown process that has only 2 alternating commands:

    Look around this room and find something you can have.

    Look around your wallet and find something I can have.

    Last edited: Nov 17, 2018
  12. HelluvaHoax!

    HelluvaHoax! Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on

    Billy is currently unavailable due to being in a cramming cycle to handle some false data. It seems that he was in a grocery store, waiting to check out, when he noticed another waiting customer browsing the tabloids on a rack.

    Being an in-ethics, up-stat, on-source, up-tone OT VIII, Billy obnosed that the woman had just picked up "The Enquirer" that had an entheta photo and headline reading: "JOHN TRAVOLTA BELIEVES 75 MILLION YEAR OLD ALIENS ARE THE REASON HIS LAST 9 MOVIES HAVE ALL BOMBED". When the woman softly chuckled and began to read it, Billy aggressively snatched it out of her hands and began hysterically and repetitively screaming:

    "Have you raped a baby?!!!!!"[sup]1[/sup]

    In cramming Billy stated that he was just following the "successful actions" of other Ideal Scientologists, Ideal Celebrities and Ideal Church Founder----by "always attacking" SPs and DBs and anyone critical of planetary saviors like Dr. Hubbard or John Travolta.

    UPDATE: Wait, I finally was able catch Billy briefly while he was on a smoke break from cramming. He said that his CS and the org's Medical Officer both "C/Sed" him to start smoking again, after he had finally quit after smoking for 30 years and being diagnosed with lung cancer. Luckily Ron's wholetrack research discovered that "not enough cigarettes" is the "why" for people getting cancer. So, Billy was put on a special program and allowed to take breaks every 15 minutes so that he could get his consumption level up to 3 packs a day, which duplicates Dr. Hubbard's personal dosage levels. I asked Billy the question you wondered about:

    Hey Billy! Someone online has a question they could really
    use a Source reference on.

    Sure! I am always VVGIs on flowing the power of source
    and standard stable datums to ethical beings whose havingness
    is high enough that they are reaching for the tech!

    Um, yeah....right....okay. Well, here's the question. They want to
    know why since 1986 Scientologists have been in "waiting" for LRH
    to come back and save the planet. Isn't "waiting" at the bottom
    of the Know-To-Mystery scale?

    I am very happy to answer that. The answer is
    "what do your materials state?"

    Yeah, but we couldn't find any materials that talked about that.

    Well, I know the answer but I can't tell you.
    Because verbal data is a High Crime.

    I see. Well, in that case would you mind
    just writing it down here on this pad. Here's a pen.

    Well.....uhhh.....sure, I guess that would be standard,
    to put it in writing. LRH talks about that.

    (reading what Billy wrote)
    As Scientologists we are not in "waiting" for Ron. In fact,
    as an OT, Ron is senior to MEST, therefore he has risen above
    "time" and is already way ahead of us. He is already here, but
    we, as Pre-OTs, are not at his level yet. So what is really happening
    is we are com-lagging and not perceiving Ron's presence, and Ron (being
    mankind's greatest friend) is patiently helping us flatten our com lag by
    keeping his TR-0 in and saying/doing nothing until we come into present time.


    [sup]1[/sup] "Have you raped a baby?!": A standard auditing command to instantly shatter an SP and win the hearts and minds of wogs who are nearby and fortunate enough to witness Scientology's workable technology. LINK HERE

    Last edited: Nov 17, 2018
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  13. HelluvaHoax!

    HelluvaHoax! Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on


    Cross-posted from another thread discussing Alex Gibney's new movie. (Gibney was the producer/director of the acclaimed, award winning feature-length documentary: "Going Clear: Scientology and the Prison of Belief")

    Perhaps you are right. That prestigious prize should not have gone to Gibney--it should have posthumously been awarded to Dr. Hubbard in at least 1 of the 13 categories of Pulitzer.

    Dr. Hubbard was assuredly deserving to win in the category of PUBLIC SERVICE[sup]1[/sup].

    [sup]1 [/sup]PUBLIC SERVICE: Dr. Hubbard beneficently sacrificed his own fortune and health in order to assist the culture substantially advance towards the goal of "a world without criminality", single-handedly stopping a major crime wave by killing himself in 1986.

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  14. HelluvaHoax!

    HelluvaHoax! Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on



    Scientology's holy scripture instructs us all on the secret UNIVERSAL PRINCIPLE OF EXACTNESS ("UPOE"). This is, in fact the very first time in mankind's history on this planet that anyone even knew the name of it---because before this post (like I said) it was "secret". So that is a monumental breakthrough in itself, because this must assuredly be the WHY that Scientology's Central Files have been backlogged for 68 years---the staff there did not know where to alphabetically file particles referring the UPOE because they didn't know the actual name and would sit around asking each other: "Do you know where we should file this document? It's about 'that totally cool thing that Ron said'."

    Well then, now that CF can come into PT, planetary clearing has now become a reality!

    As long as we are discussing the UPOE, I suppose this is perhaps a good time to say what it is. Ron stated that (he didn't just say it or write it--he in fact stated it---so pay very close attention):


    This explains why Dr. Hubbard created the sadistic terror-tech known as "Scientology Ethics & Justice" to destroy Scientologists who experienced a dramatic increase in their ability. Because if for unknown reasons the tech actually worked and a being's IQ, confront & knowingness suddenly increased---they would begin to confront the EXACTNESS of what Scientology really is and what Scientology is really doing---which would instantly cause Scientology to erase, disappear, as-is, blow & vanish.

    Hubbard and 97.5% of his loyal SO members, "loyal officers", St. Hill Staff members, Clears & OTs have already disappeared and blown. Hubbard blew too. And Scientology's "over ten million members" vanished as well.

    Now their church is down to only about 15,000 NCG DBs whose IQ remained so low that they have no idea whatsoever what Scientology is.

    RECAP: On the positive side of things, Ron's research into how to PREVENT a beings awareness and knowingness about Scientology from increasing did however produce an outstanding new discovery--the phenomena Ron labeled "entheta".

    entheta -noun: Any contra-survival outpoint that indicates that a Scientologist is very suppressively beginning to discover the exact time, place, form and event of the hoax known as Scientology.

    Last edited: Nov 19, 2018
  15. HelluvaHoax!

    HelluvaHoax! Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on

    Anatomy of a Hoax in 3 easy lessons:

    "The man on the cross-----there was no Christ"
    - L. Ron Hubbard

    "The cross on the pricelist-----there was no discount"


    "The man on the boat-----there was no OT"
    -L. Don Hubbard[sup]1[/sup]

    [sup]1[/sup] L. Don Hubbard (see Avatar) is the disaffected & declared evil twin brother of L. Ron Hubbard.


  16. HelluvaHoax!

    HelluvaHoax! Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on

    . . .

    Another "HONORABLE MENTION" winner in the category of:


    The COS (Crimewave of Scientology) sells its deeply religious sterling/diamond CROSS for $1,250.​


    How much do degraded beings (i.e. jewelers) on this planet sell
    a similar sterling/diamond cross for? Let's take a look . . .


    ANSWER: $ 185
    (see link HERE)

    Oh my! This must be some sort of mistake, why are stupid wogs selling "priceless" holy CROSSES for so little. Let's do more research.

    How about that "priceless" Gold vermeil (gold plating over silver) & diamond cross
    that Scientology sells for $1,500---
    How much do the out-tech squirrel wog jewelers sell it for?


    ANSWER: $150
    (see link HERE)

    RECAP: Scientology claims "there was no Christ" or "man on the cross". They mock the cross as an "implant". Then they charge duped Dianeticists into paying $500,000 or more to audit out the implants. Then they charge even more to buy a Scientology cross wait, if there was no man on the cross, what then does a Scientology cross represent? Why did Scientology hijack and then start promoting and selling the cross implant?

    ANSWER: Because Scientology is a business that will sell you ANYTHING you are willing to pay for. They'll sell you an audio lecture by guru Ron where he carefully explains that the "cross" is cruel implant. Then before you leave the bookstore they'll sell you a cross. Then, if you still have remaining credit on your charge card, they'll sell you auditing to "run out" the cross implant incident. Then they'll sell you status pins if you donate $50K to $50M to the "Ideal Orgs" building fund that will open more retail locations to sell holy crosses to dumb folks who are so happy and proud to wear a religious cross, just like the Christians who are "dramatizing" the cross implant. Have I mentioned recently that Scientologists are not good examples of a modern science of mental health? LOL

    ps: If a jeweler sells a sterling silver pendant for $150, their cost is typically around $30. If Scientology jewelers sell it for $1,250---their cost is still $30. I believe when Hubbard spoke of OT levels producing "unprecedented gains" he was referring to the "cap gains" embedded in the "unprecedented" 40X markup.
    Last edited: Nov 22, 2018
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  17. HelluvaHoax!

    HelluvaHoax! Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on


    That is really interesting! I have never heard/read that before. I would love to view/listen to those un-edited tapes before the "laugh track" was as-ised, LOL.

    Have you or anyone ever heard LRH lectures/films where audience members laughed derisively, jeered or shouted back the most suppressively high-crime of all high-crimes---DISAGREEMENT?

    If there is an "Original Sin" in Scientology it's that--disagreeing. What's absurdly ironic is that Scientology most fundamental tenet is that "WHAT'S REAL FOR YOU IS WHAT IS REAL" and "WHAT'S TRUE FOR YOU IS WHAT IS TRUE". However, nobody is actually allowed to apply that in real life when it comes to the infallible C-gurus (Cult Commodore/COB).

    We join Dr. Hubbard's lecture-in-progress:

    DR. HUBBARD isn't that fascinating that when I got back from Venus where I was almost
    run over by a freight train, I discovered the 75 million year old "Wall of Fire"
    that I am the only being to ever pass through safely without dying. Mind you,
    I did contract a terrible case of pneumonia and lung cancer, but then I discovered
    another miraculous cure which is to increase my smoking from one pack of cigarettes
    a day to a full non-filtered, 3-pack habit. And WHOOSH! No cancer! So what does all
    this mean to you and your eternity. Just this, what is real to you is what is real. It was
    real to me that I could cure cancer and I did! First being to ever cure cancer, so I suppose
    that makes me the greatest doctor that ever lived on this planet. And you each should apply
    that Code of Honor datum, and keep your own counsel and never compromise your own reality
    because what is true for you is what is truly true! And that is my gift to you. Thank you.


    Ron! Ron! Ron! What is real to me is that you never had lung cancer, what is real to
    me is that you made it up. What is real to me is that you don't have any proof that you
    had lung cancer because you told me in session that you are terrified to ever go to a
    medical doctor and you haven't seen a doctor in 32 years! That's what's real to me.


    (screaming tone 40 as loudly as he can)
    HCO BRING ORDER!!! Grab that fucking SP and fair game his
    fucking ass until he is bankrupt, in a mental institution, in prison or dead!

    Last edited: Dec 1, 2018
    Churchill likes this.
  18. Gib

    Gib Crusader

    from Dagwood:

    Originally Posted by DagwoodGum
    What's funny is that I've read posts stating that Hubbard was laughed at, mocked and ridiculed during many of his open door lectures when he was trying to build his base of "true believers" and the RTC had to spend many hours editing out the ridicule, shouted insults and out and out people laughing their asses off at his declarations based upon his fraudulent "research". If they'd let the truth be known, Hubbard was laughed off his podium on many, many occasions. Would have added some light on his lectures to have been allowed to hear that laughter!

    I believe it was a Mark Headley interview by Chris Shelton or somebody else, maybe Jeffrey Augustine, I recall hearing that as well.
  19. Alien3

    Alien3 Patron

    Does anyone remember those short videos released in the early 80s to assist students especially those doing auditor training? ( 8 mins long) The male actors wore those terrible outfits that were not meant to go out of fashion, and the videos wouldn't appear dated many years later.

    They were brightly coloured outfits, kind of similar to safari suits, that hung down, but no buttons noticable. They could not have looked more ridiculous if they had tried. It was way up there in my ridiculous moments anyway !

    What about when they went to great effort to soundproof the auditing rooms for the Sunshine rundown ??? Or was it the happiness rundwon. I was only keen to do the friggin rundown ... due to the mystery of it.

    It is was way too hard to identify 100 most ridiculous moments as there were too many of them.
    HelluvaHoax! likes this.
  20. DagwoodGum

    DagwoodGum Squirreling Dervish

    Here's one that probably drew a few shrieks and laughs. Found it trying to remember the source on the editing out of laughter on some of the lectures.
    I remember reading that in the early days people were quite welcome and invited from all walks of life to attend them for the sake of building an audience base and making converts.
    Some apparently found what he was saying quite ludicrous, burst into laughter and walked out, which makes complete sense based on the things that came out of his mouth, as I remember reading or hearing in the incredible number of reports and recollections I've poured through over the years online.

    Much more here, where I found it.
    Hubbard on little boy sex.
    Last edited: Dec 1, 2018