ESMB has entered archive mode. All posts and threads that were available to the general public are still readable. The board is still searchable. 

Thank you all for your participation and readership over the last 12 years.

If you want to join in the conversation, please join the new ESMB Redux at

What's the LAMEST thing you ever heard at an org?

Discussion in 'Staff "War Stories"' started by Thrak, Jun 18, 2008.

  1. Pixie

    Pixie Crusader

    :hysterical: Perhaps I should have put definitions at the bottom of the page.. 'Biccys' = 'Biscuits'.. :yes:
  2. gomorrhan

    gomorrhan Gold Meritorious Patron

    Good advice on lending money, not just to children, but to any family member or friend. My father was convinced Scientology was satanic, and that Dianetics was a fraud. I had the same argument with him about that subject that I have with others, here. Certainly LRH made fraudulent claims about what Dianetics can do, and about the infallibility of the process. However, I've had enough success using it that I don't consider it fraudulent, just overblown. As to Satanism, perhaps that's true (enlightenment and self-empowerment are themes of Lucifer worship), but I don't believe in either Satan or God, so I don't worry about whether or not a given method would be approved by either. However, I should have listened to him with regard to joining the group, that's for sure.
  3. EP - Ethics Particle

    EP - Ethics Particle Gold Meritorious Patron

    Better idea...

    Good idea....but, better yet, write 'em on little slips of paper (like in fortune cookies!) and stash 'em in your bodice! :p :happydance: where an EP like me will be sure to look! :coolwink: :biglove: :smoochy:

  4. Carmel

    Carmel Crusader

    Not the lamest, but pretty damn lame...

    Was MC at a wedding for two good friends. All beautiful, all good. Joy, postulates and celebrations shared by all, including the senior SO exec who (as a minister of the church), performed the service.

    A couple of years later, that same "minister" (exec), now Captain of the AO, tried to break up that marraige because the husband was somewhat keen to join the SO, and the wife wasn't qualified.

    Through some intervention of a couple of us "CI c'nts" (to quote what we were called), and through a couple of whacks to the head of the hubby who was getting sucked through a culvert, the recruitment cycle died, and the marraige survived (for a while anyway :eyeroll: )
  5. Pixie

    Pixie Crusader

    This doesn't surprise me at all, this is typical of their hypocritical double standards, what suites them suites them and the rules are changed as they go. Absolutely crazy. :no:
  6. Boldgirl

    Boldgirl Patron Meritorious

    lame things I saw in scn

    Well this is just one thing.....

    A staff member/auditor didnt see me as I entered the room when I overheard them: this person had just slammed down the phone after talking to a public, then said loudly and annoyingly to other staffers

    "C'mon how can it not be your purpose to be on staff?"

    Then they saw me (the public), and quickly looked down and away.

    One year later that same staffer didnt renew their contract....
    what a hypocrite!!!
  7. Twin A

    Twin A Patron with Honors

    I overheard an OT in the bookstore at the Glendale Mission say that on OT 7, a person could cure Herpes:omg:

    Weird thing about the Glendale Mission, many of the staff there make money as FSMs for Flag (definately NOT as Mission staff!) so you have a handful of staff walking around with this elated look on their face saying how GREAT the OT levels are, to us few lower level public... I found it annoying.
  8. Iknowtoomuch

    Iknowtoomuch Gold Meritorious Patron

    Not lame but....

    I had an OTVII at the time ask me when I was getting married. I was astonished that he knew I was getting married. I thought it a wonder....till years later I made the connection he must have simply seen us together.:duh:

    Of course this was back when REAL OTVII's weren't made yet.....:D
  9. Challenge

    Challenge Silver Meritorious Patron

    This is one of the lamest: I had PCs waiting for me in the waiting room, and I had a light cram to do. I went to the Cram room, and the Cramming Officer was sweeping the floor. I told her that I had a cram. She said that I would just have to wait, that she had to do her 'cleaning station'. Her order of importance left me speechless.
    Another was one time Heber had all of the Briefing Course students line up in the hall. ( An "all hands"). Heber had come up with the idea that all the BC students should carry toy machine guns and march on the Courthouse, in something about lack of justice for Religious freedom or some such bull. I was to wear white robes and a tiara and be "Miss Liberty". After this rally, I went to the ASHO Captain and asked him if the Police would all be informed that we were totin' toy guns? and I reminded him that he was ultimately responsible for the safety of his students. So this demonstration was jettisoned.

  10. sandygirl

    sandygirl Silver Meritorious Patron

    This is pretty lame.....

    When I was a Flag, a person sitting at my lunch table was regaling us with this LRH "tidbit".

    According to him, one nite his fellow staff member heard a weird clicking coming from LRH's office. Curious, he peeked through the door.....

    LRH was sitting at his desk writing bulletins-with BOTH HANDS. AND, he was writing so quickly the pens were running out of ink. He would throw the empty to the floor (hence the clicking) and grab a fresh one.

    Of course, this little gem was relayed to us in a reverent, hushed manner. And I'm sorry to say, not only did I eat this up.....I went home and retold the story many times!!!!OMG :omg: :omg:

    I am lame......
  11. Dulloldfart

    Dulloldfart Squirrel Extraordinaire

    I believe he was pretty good at dictating from both ends at once too.

  12. Good twin

    Good twin Floater

    I wonder who HE was channeling?
  13. clamicide

    clamicide Gold Meritorious Patron

    Wow--so much lameness to choose from:

    Probably not the lamest I heard, but one that used to happen fairly often and drive me insane at the time. Our ED would have stuff come up where relatives were coming into town or whatever--and we would all be told cheerfully to really make sure we got our stats totally up, so that the ED could take time off (as in days)! It was like a fricking pep rally--and I'd be looking around the room at other staff members--none of us could even get a couple of hours off to save our lives.

    This was an org, where if someone didn't show up for post for any reason, other staff (often those trying to do step 2 of liability) would come out to your home, physically break in if needed and body route your ass to the org. I once had a senior come out to my place of work (non-Scio) and start asking me why the hell Iwasn't in the org. I told the psycho-bitch that she knew that I worked EVERY Tuesday night--and was told that she didn't give an F--and that if I didn't come with her right then, I'd be KRed from here to eternity and put in lowers and MEST work. People at where I worked were wondering what the hell was going on and wanted to know if I wanted them to get rid of her.

    BUT, we peons were supposed to work til 2 am so the ED got what they wanted--
    our ED was LOVED by management and always backed up by them--
    now that I'm out I realize it was becuse the @hole operated like a psycho Miscavige clone and was running the "ideal org" (ie: prison):eyeroll:
  14. Boldgirl

    Boldgirl Patron Meritorious

    lame and some sad

    These are each different OT 8's I knew at some point
    (OT=cause over matter, energy, space, time etc etc)

    1. Still wearing glasses
    2. Still smoking (chain)
    3. Hysterical crying in a courseroom
    4. asking for a loan
    5. dying of cancer
    6. dying crashing a plane
    7. screaming at a public (loud) to donate more money

    Yep, scientology works..... :megaphone:
  15. sandygirl

    sandygirl Silver Meritorious Patron

    ugh.....I need a shower after this thread.

    Boldgirl: Here a some choice OT "snippets" from this part of the "prison planet"

    * going bankrupt
    *denying the holucaust EVER OCCURED!!!!
    *dying of cancer
    *dying in "freak" accident

    Yup...makes ya' just wanna' open a few more credit lines
  16. Leon

    Leon Gold Meritorious Patron

    I knew a Flag OT-7 who was totally compulsive on porn movies.

    Another OT-Drug RD completion celebrated by going off and getting drunk in Clearwater the same day he attested.
  17. Boldgirl

    Boldgirl Patron Meritorious

    Wow, this just keeps getting better.... !
  18. Boldgirl

    Boldgirl Patron Meritorious

    I guess he eventually blamed it on the remaining BT's he had not yet handled on nasty BT's.....dirty minds those degraded thetans.

    Your honour...I plead insanity, my BT's made me do it... it had to be them because I no longer have my own reactive mind !
  19. sandygirl

    sandygirl Silver Meritorious Patron

    Two more Boldgirl:

    *one having a stroke
    *one wearing COKE BOTTLE glasses
    *two having NOTHING to do with the church!!!
  20. Boldgirl

    Boldgirl Patron Meritorious

    Lame OT 7 & 8 abilities we have seen

    These are from our experiences: (me, Leon and sandygirl so far). Please feel free to add re: OT 7 & 8's (cause over matter, energy, space, time etc)
    (with all due respect to the dying)

    1. Still wearing glasses
    2. Still smoking (chain)
    3. Hysterical crying in a courseroom
    4. asking for a loan
    5. dying of cancer
    6. dying crashing a plane
    7. screaming at a public (loud) to donate more money
    8. going bankrupt
    9. denying the holucaust EVER OCCURED!!!!
    10. dying of cancer
    11. dying in "freak" accident
    12. drinking
    13. stealing
    14. compulsive on porn movies
    15. OT-Drug RD completion celebrated by going off and getting drunk in Clearwater the same day he attested
    16. one having a stroke
    17. one wearing COKE BOTTLE glasses
    18. two having NOTHING to do with the church!!!