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You can leave but you can't really leave

Discussion in 'Leaving Scientology' started by Voltaire's Child, Apr 24, 2008.

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  1. Voltaire's Child

    Voltaire's Child Fool on the Hill

    I had successfully gotten John and me off the CofS mailing lists years before we left and then got expelled, but very rarely, some mailings crept in. Somehow we got put into one of the LA ones with a kind of munged typo filled mailing address.

    Sooo...the other day a really really really nice gentlemanly guy called from LA. He wanted to know if we got a DVD they sent. He was so nice and he didn't ask about my status so I was just nice right back to him. I hadn't gotten the DVD so he was going to resend and then call us to see if we got it. I just didn't have the heart to unload on him or anything. He was so nice.

    So then last night I got a call from another person there- they mailed the DVD two days ago and wanted to know if I got it. I hadn't, and told them so. So they started asking when I'd been in and was I still doing this and that, believing this and that, etc. Well, I couldn't lie to them- or at least didn't want to. Nor did I want to unload on them and go blah blah cultie crap like some people sometimes say they do. So I said "Look, I'll be honest with you." and told the person my status. I told them about being expelled due to OSA's not wanting us to post to the net and that I was forbidden to even READ a.r.s. I told them about the handlings, and how I felt the church should honor its own creed.

    I also told the person I would not make them any wrong for still being in CofS- that's not my style though I also said "I could NEVER do what you do."

    Anyway, it was fine and all that. the person was pleasant, I was pleasant, I didn't unload or shriek or piss all over this person and I didn't get a bunch of self righteous you should do A to E and squirrelling is bad (I told the person I got auditing AFTER leaving CofS and that a process can be standardly done outside CofS) crap. So it was fine.

    But you know what? I cried 20 minutes after the call. And part of the reason was BECAUSE she was nice.

    I think that one never entirely loses the cult thingie...sorta like syphilis or herpes.
  2. Mark A. Baker

    Mark A. Baker Sponsor

    It is sad that good people get caught up in promoting activities which ultimately are not in anyone's interest.

    Mark A. Baker
  3. grundy

    grundy Gold Meritorious Patron

    I don't know if it is upsetting, confusing or comforting to know that if I was declared, I would still be invited to events.
  4. Wisened One

    Wisened One Crusader

    :hug: to you, fluffy.

    I know how you felt! :yes:

    THAT exact thing happened to me about three weeks know many of us were getting called SEVERAL times a day by Bridge, etc..all for their supposed 'Address corrections' crap?

    Well, I finally called THEM one see what exactly they wanted.

    This REALLY NICE guy talks to me, announces his name (can't remember, dang it, hey I was nervous!) and he goes into 'We're updating all addresses, blabla' I go thru his questions confirming my address,etc...then he asks me my last processing...I had to really think, it was THAT long ago...(1995).

    I tell him when, he says: 'Oh that was before GAT'.

    I say: yes...he asks if I was on Staff, I say yes, and where at....he takes all that down...then I tell him NICELY...

    'I'm no longer interested in The Bridge or going up it or anything'

    And he pauses...then just says:

    'Ok, I've noted that down. I say 'Thank you' and hang up.

    And THAT WAS IT?!


    Anyways: After I hung up...I sorta felt.....WEIRD...and LOSSY!?!?

    Hubby and I talked for a while about we EXPECTED him to fight with us or try stronger recovery techniques or even yell at us,something, but he LET US GO soooo......EASILY?!

    WHY wasn't I allowed to do THAT as a Reg or Bodyrouter?! Huh?

    Bet MORE people may've actually came back in with their money that way, lol. (Glad they didn't, now, but you get the idea)

    Gee...looks like somebody knew how to really use R/W, eh?;)

    Still didn't make me want to return to Scn or nothin....but sure went thru some somatics on it.....
  5. Emma

    Emma Con te partirĂ² Administrator

    I understand this - completely.

    They've given up on me. Sometimes I get a sad feeling that they have. I know it's irrational and I'd probably FREAK OUT if anyone tried to recover me at this stage, but just knowing that they've given up kind of makes me a bit sad (just a little bit).

    I think it's the same kind of sadness that happens when a marriage fails and you finally acknowledge it. You don't want to go back there, but when the ex (husband or wife) finally hooks up with someone else and you realise you have been replaced, or "erased" it's a loss. You still don't want that person back but it's sad nevertheless.
  6. Alanzo

    Alanzo Bardo Tulpa

    We all had the best of intentions. We really wanted to help ourselves and the whole world.

    This was going to be the greatest thing ever.

    And it turned out not to be so.

    I understand why you cried, Fluffy.

    That part of you which became the Scientologist in order to express itself is still there.
  7. Wisened One

    Wisened One Crusader

  8. Zinjifar

    Zinjifar Silver Meritorious Sponsor

    It's not that bad :)

    Instead of saving the world, you get to save yourself and, once that's started, save the people you care about.

    Saving the World almost inevitably goes bad.

    I suspect it goes back to the age-old question of 'Why is Evil?'

  9. Voltaire's Child

    Voltaire's Child Fool on the Hill

    You guys are awesome.

    Thing about this was- that these people were nice made it seem worse. If they'd been butts it would have been easy to laugh at them or get pissy and argumentative which you know I truly love more than almost anything other than chocolate.

    Well, I think that it's a cultic thing. I think that the cultic thingies stay with you even when you're like totally "I'm not doing THAT any more. I looove sleeping in, shopping, having money, etc." Well, I did say that already.

    I know they're on a push to call people. I figured they wouldn't bother with me cuz I'm expelled, etc. But they're calling others, too, who are expelled- aren't they? I really wonder at this point if there aren't people there bending policy, they KNOW they're calling expelled declared people and they're pretending NOT to know and they can salvage them, they think.

    There's this thing about being part of something and it's more than just being a member of the book of the month club or some job I used to have. This was a crusade and it was originally for life.

    You know how some Catholics say there's no such thing as an ex Catholic? Well, yes, there is of course, but I know what they mean. It's like that with Scn, especially if one got into the "THIS IS IT!! YES YES YES!" mentality.

    I have always said I didn't regret leaving. I don't, but I think I will carry this virus within me for a long time...maybe forever.

    All your posts made a LOT of sense and Emma's hit the nail on the head again, too, as did the rest of you.
  10. alex

    alex Gold Meritorious Patron

    Funny, I just got a call.

    I think the church is in the failure mode. Unusual solutions being applied.

    The nice lady who called me said that I wouldn't be annoyed at being called over and over and over if I was at a high enough ot level.

    I asked her what her ot level was, and she said she was staff which was higher than public. wtf!?!?!

    I hung up.

    I may cry too.

    Yes a loss, but can we not still work towards a world without insanity, and war? And where decent people can be happy? Most everyone here was....


    As far as I am concerned nothing Hubbard wrote or thought is invalidated by the church failing to live up to it. And if you dont like what he wrote and thought, that does not mean an end to striving for a better world.

    Yea it is like looking back at the past and realizing you cant go back to it.

    But we can create the future.

    And are.

    alex (indicating to himself a break in reality.) (thanks Claire for the perfect post at just the right moment)
  11. Kathy (ImOut)

    Kathy (ImOut) Gold Meritorious Patron


    This is so bizarre that you posted this thread today. I got home from being out and listened to the 2 messages I had on the machine. Husband's got an eye appointment. Check.

    Message #2: Amanda (I think was the name) from Flag calling to verify our address. WTF? No one "has" our number. Yes, you can find it on the internet - my husband found it.

    I still haven't done anything. Husband is at a business dinner and wants to hear the message himself before we do anything.

    But I've missed a few "private caller" on my cell phone over the last week or two - just didn't hear the phone ring, but no messages left on the cell phone.

    When I got the message, I logged on to ESMB to see older threads about this, and instead I get a brand new thread about the CofS calling to "verify your address".

    It's nice to know I'm not alone. Thanks, all, for being here.
  12. sandygirl

    sandygirl Silver Meritorious Patron

    We got the call yesterday.

    Funny thing is we went through this "mailing list update" scam a few months ago. I even posted about it. Anyways I got a grandma (very sweet) last time and even after I explained I was no longer interested in the church she tried to sell me the basics to stay connected to source.

    Then we even got MORE mailings including my maiden name which I haven't used for 15 years~!:angry:

    Anyways, two weeks ago on a Sunday nite about 10 we got a "private caller" message. I didn't want to answer but I was so pissed about my kids being woken up on a school nite that I answered.

    It was a NOT a sweet grandma but a real bitch. I let her have it about waking up my kids and calling again even after I asked to NOT be called.

    I felt so upset afterwards that I had a lousy nite's sleep. I feel bad about a lot of it but all I have to do is really think about how things were before I left and I KNOW it is over for me. It is kindof like losing a marriage or an important relationship and there is a lot of untapped grief. But think of the hell staff and public are going through in there right now!
  13. gomorrhan

    gomorrhan Gold Meritorious Patron

    I do think about that. I suspect strongly that my daughter is a Sea Ogre.
  14. happynow

    happynow Patron

    I've been getting lots of calls at work.

    Somebody gave somebody my work phone number after
    I've been successfully hidden for years. I acted like I wasn't
    who they were looking for. That was kinda fun.
    Of course I feel sorry for the poor schmucks who are probably
    getting beaten for not getting their stats up but whatever.
    Hopefully they'll snap out of it someday and realize what pests
    they were like I finally did.
    I'm so happy to not have an agenda anymore and just love
    people for who they are. Man, that's nice.
  15. Alanzo

    Alanzo Bardo Tulpa

    Welcome, happynow.

    I hope you are!
  16. Free to shine

    Free to shine Shiny & Free

    I really, really understand.

    I am also here say that feeling does go. It really does.

    Now I have empathy for those who need to be part of that group, and happiness, real happiness, that I do not. :happydance:
  17. Voltaire's Child

    Voltaire's Child Fool on the Hill

    Wow. A real blitzkrieg of calls. And some of them were so rude to you guys. Yes, that's the ticket all right (sarcasm)- try to sell something and be rude to your potential customer.

    Not sure how many of those of you who posted on this thread are declared. It very much appears that they are even calling people who are declared and are ignoring that fact. That's against policy, of course. But if I were running things (besides not having high prices or freeloader debts or institutional living or disconnection or or or ...) I wouldn't have this "IJC is your only contact" thing. I wonder if, somehow, they've changed THAT rule, too. DM changes everything eventually, if it suits him. So maybe they aren't ignoring declares,if any, in people they want to call. Maybe they know damn well and are just desperate.

    It's a shrinking cult. It could have been- maybe not the fastest growing religion in the US - but it could have been a truly thriving self help corporation with decent "stats" if they would have stopped crapping on people while making more and more demands from them and saying they wanted to help those people.
  18. Cat's Squirrel

    Cat's Squirrel Gold Meritorious Patron

    Yeah, if it's true that they're targeting declared members then it looks like they're getting desperate. I should feel sorry for them but they do nothing to help themselves.
  19. Kathy (ImOut)

    Kathy (ImOut) Gold Meritorious Patron


    I'm declared and they called me on my "private" (home) number. Not my cell phone number that hasn't changed since leaving.

    I know they called someone several months ago, that's been declared for something like 25 years. And they contacted that person thru a number that isn't even in his name and maybe only a handful of people (non-churchies) knew he was at that number. That was too bizarre.
  20. alex

    alex Gold Meritorious Patron

    I suspect that the church has hired outside people do dig up numbers.

    I got a call the other day that suffered a technical glitch, and the people on the other side didnt hang up, but continued to make calls and I could hear them calling number after number asking for a name at that number. It was from a number I would suspect being "church" but the people I could hear in the background and the one caller who had failed to disconnect from me didnt sound like scientologists....

    (I hadnt answered but was screening on my answering machine....)

    Perhaps the church has paid some phone pros to revitalize the cf?

    Last edited: Apr 26, 2008