How I Lost My Wife

[jenni with an eye]

I remember sitting on the stairs out front of the Superior Court, in Boston after it was done. I remember that there were no tears. Instead, there were questions. There was shock, disbelief, numbness, disorientation.

An hour before we had stood next to each other at the copy machine. I was joking with her about something, and watching her laughing, wanting to ask her if this was really what she wanted, or if this was just meeting some requirement for a conditions formula. Wondering if it was too late to tell her that I'd never stopped loving her, and wanting to ask her again if she wouldn't tell me if she still loved me.

I didn't, though. I did what I thought she wanted. I did what I thought would create a legal document specifying my right to see my children on a regular basis. I recoiled from the horror of losing the woman I had always loved, even before I met her.

I remember the judge asking me repeatedly if I knew the rights I was giving up, nearly begging me to get a lawyer before I signed this document, before I allowed him to enact this divorce. I remember the scientology people in the back of the courtroom who were there, I presume, to ensure that there was no real communication between me and my wife, to make sure that she followed through, and that there was no hitch from me. I remember saying I don't as vividly as I remember saying I do.

Sitting on those stairs, I tried to think about the good things this might mean, that I was single again.

No matter what I thought about then, no matter what I think about now, though, there's no replacing the love of your life.

I still don't really know how I lost my wife. I still don't know why she agreed. She never told me she didn't love me any more. I asked. She never told me anything at all, and I still miss her.

I've just seen this for the first time.

This really did bring tears to my eyes.

Thank you for sharing this.

 

[uniquemand]

I've just seen this for the first time.

This really did bring tears to my eyes.

Thank you for sharing this.

Thanks. Love never dies. Relationships sure do!

 

[GreyWolf]

Oh, this church that claims to offer freedom. I still don't know why we all fell for it

 

[25yearsoutfree@last]

You lost your wife because L. Ron Hubbard was a sadistic bastard. But we wake up. We recooperate from the hangover of the koolaid. One by one we exit. She will wake up one day. Hang in there!

 

[uniquemand]

No, I lost my wife because I was an indoctrinated dumb-ass who accepted an order to leave my lawful wedded wife and children, because I was naive enough to think that she had a right to live as a cultist. Sometimes, it is wiser not to be a relativist. That was simply flatly wrong.

The cult has no power that we don't cede to them.

 

[The_Fixer]

A sad story there UM. It's a real dilemma for you now.

I feel a written message would be the best way first up, as it does not carry the charge that speaking would. It would allow you to say your part, whatever you wish to say, without interruption. I would say it would be a non confrontational method.

A phone conversation is open to emotional discharges, interruptions and lapses in the thought processes. Your intended message(s) could be lost in the process.

If nothing else happens from there, then you could have some closure and begin the letting go process...Don't assume what she is thinking, because you really don't, do you?

You never know, it could be the beginning of something beautiful as well.

Since you have already lost her, you have nothing to lose and maybe everything to gain. Worth the chance, I reckon.

We are your cheerleader team right here, right now. Go for it buddy!

 

[uniquemand]

A sad story there UM. It's a real dilemma for you now.

I feel a written message would be the best way first up, as it does not carry the charge that speaking would. It would allow you to say your part, whatever you wish to say, without interruption. I would say it would be a non confrontational method.

A phone conversation is open to emotional discharges, interruptions and lapses in the thought processes. Your intended message(s) could be lost in the process.

If nothing else happens from there, then you could have some closure and begin the letting go process...Don't assume what she is thinking, because you really don't, do you?

You never know, it could be the beginning of something beautiful as well.

Since you have already lost her, you have nothing to lose and maybe everything to gain. Worth the chance, I reckon.

We are your cheerleader team right here, right now. Go for it buddy!

Oh, that was then, chief. This is now. It's been sixteen years, and we've both moved on.

The story is sad, because it's a scientology story. My story is much happier now. Scientology is not a part of my life.

 

[The_Fixer]

OK UM, that's cool. I think I was getting a little carried away there then...

It's good life is good for you now

 

[Type4_PTS]

My story is much happier now.

Just came across this story for the first time. Glad you're doing better now!

Hubbard somehow managed to suppress love with perfect mind controll. This is why I think that The Church of Scientology could be as dangerous to the freedom in this world as Communism or Nazi Germany.

I agree Markus.

 

[freethinker]

Like others I stumbled on this thread.


I remember when you and Nitza were on your Purif. Sorry it happened.

I remember in 2004 she came back on staff.

I was gradually moving away from Scientology at that time and was surprised she came back.

It appears you have moved on now.

 

[uniquemand]

Like others I stumbled on this thread.


I remember when you and Nitza were on your Purif. Sorry it happened.

I remember in 2004 she came back on staff.

I was gradually moving away from Scientology at that time and was surprised she came back.

It appears you have moved on now.

Yes. Love doesn't die, but when one person turns away, it serves no good purpose to force them back to you, even if that were possible. I hadn't realized she had gone back to staff in Boston in 2004. That's sad.

Forgive my memory if you've told me who you are. Nitza and I did our purif in 1989, I think.

I think I remember everyone from that time on day or fdn. schedule.