Sargon the Cherub
Patron
I have taken the liberty to read through all the featured posts and many of the posts taking place in this thread. With that said, my story is slightly different... by comparison with many of you my own experiences with The Church are limited, I took courses, in fact (and perhaps I am being to paranoid but I hope I'm not giving my self away with this info) the last course I was doing was Method One. which I was actually enjoying until I got to some tone 40 drill that just would not work for me, in fact the super started using me to pass other students and I went through many as I was actually getting really good at making the eMeter register a reaction...or not register at all in some cases.From my experience most Scientologist that I've come across do reasonably well for themselves $ (or as was the case most of the time...their parents did) I however came from a less well to do situation, worry not for I shall not burden you with the tragedy that was my life even before I hit Scientology and then The Church. Suffice it to say that with my father in rehab for meth addiction and my mother missing since I was 7 I found my self in the care of my Natural Clear grandfather and OT5 step grandmother. As I was not signed up for school at the time (I was about 13 then) I took to their library of Scientology books and tapes. Before this point, starting at the age of 10 I was studying as much about witchcraft and Wicca as I could get my hands on, my interest moved from Wicca to the occult in general and by the time I got to my grandparents I was already a practicing occultist with a steady network of older friends who helped me when I needed it. I had never heard of Scientology, though the last thing I think my father said to me before going off to rehab was "stay away from that Scientology crap". It should perhaps be noted that he showed similar disapproval of my witchcraft studies, though I would find out later that while one was based in ignorance the other was based on life experience he neglected to tell me about. My Natural Clear grandfather it seems was in the SeaOrg, for how long I can not say but I know he never met the Old Man. Seems my father was an unwilling member before they developed a cadet program I believe, as his father joined and it would be a long time before he was shipped off to his mothers. His experiences there were apparently enough to keep him jaded and even now quite silent about the whole affair. Based on what I've been reading I can Imagen why. The first piece of Scientology material I was introduced to was the whole track tapes, then the Phoenix lectures, Dawn of immorality, State of Man Congress, Power of Simplicity , and Philadelphia Doctorate Course Lectures. I read 88008, Book One, the ethics book and all those basic books (a new slant on life, evolution of a science etc..) I had that plus HQS, over coming ups and downs and a few other intro courses under my belt by age 16 but that was really the extent of my knowledge. Always I craved more but never had the money for the books and tapes I wanted, living with my grandparents at first was quite welcome, I always had food and no longer had to worry about the safety of my younger brother. I was even enrolled in a private school, though this happiness would in the end be short lived. I think it all really started when I got my Emeter stolen from a student closet in Asho, for a couple of weeks my grandfather let me borrow his but when he wanted to get back on his solo course I was left with hoping whatever partner I was going to have had their own. I would not have the chance to find out as I started to lose interest with the course once I no longer had my own meter, (using an Emeter was really the only reason I took the course) and I stopped going and spent my time hanging out with friends. I made quite a few friends actually and some of my more treasured memories are of my friends and I goofing off around the Orgs along L. Ron Hubbard Way.
Once word got to my grandfather however things took a turn for the worse, suddenly I found my self being pulled out of school to stay home and clean from 6:00am – 12:00am. Scrubbing and re-scrubbing the kitchen (floors,walls, behind the fridge) everyday, the house would usually be done in the morning in it's entirety and by the time it was really hot out side I would be forced to do yard work in the backyard which consisted of simply digging three foot holes in the dirt (which is all their was, dry dusty dirt with a huge tree in the middle) so something could be planted. At one point when things weren't being done to his standard he started hitting me with various objects, or just plain pushing me to the floor and kicking me in the mouth and threatening that if I were to fight back he'd go load one of his guns. From which point I was moved into the dirty, paint chipped, filthy, dust filled garage which was cluttered with a mess of miscellaneous objects of varying uselessness. I slept on a thin wooden table with a small pillow and a blanket, I ate rice and beans and was allowed water but other then that if I was not working I was to be in the garage. I lived like this for a few weeks before I finally snapped, I started screaming things to my self out loud and in my head, I just lost it while my grandmother watched from inside the house. I was in the backyard and it was the middle of the day, I started walking her way and she locked the door, I regained my senses in an instant and knew I couldn't stay there. Luckily she hadn't locked the back door to my room, I gathered what little I owned and stole as much canned goods as I could, stuffed them in my pack and took off with my little bother. We jumped from friends house to friends house for a few weeks before my younger brother got discouraged and went back, which was fine as he was never the target of a beating. Eventually my grandparents would foul things up by calling my father while he was in rehab to see if I had contacted him, he of course said no as I hadn't but when they refused to tell him what was going on he signed him self out of rehab and called the police. I was contacted through trusted sources and worked an agreement with my grandfather to get the government off his back and get my father back in rehab, as long as he kept his communications with me brief while I lived there and when all was as said and done that he would play stupid as to where I went when my father got out again because I was not sticking around. All was handled and I was given an ultimatum, I wont go into the decent Scientology family I was allowed to stay with suffice it to say they showed me that at least some of the tech is workable. I would never return to course at Asho and after my father got out of rehab and I moved back in with him my attention again would go to the occult. Every now and again I would do something I felt crossed the line and would return for an ethics handling, actually I haven't finished my last one and haven't been back. If anything, this I regret, because they now have things in my folder I am not proud of and this will keep me from speaking out against them publicly, unless I can get my hands on that folder.
I am a solitary occult practitioner as of right now and have been devouring the self clearing book by The Pilot, I haven't read superscio yet, I've been trying to find books like the bare faced messiah in PDF. I'm starting to see the organization as the cult it really is and have lost interest in dealing with them, right now I'm trying to find a way to continue my studies and hopefully even continue research but I need an Emeter, maybe some of you will know where I can get one for cheap or free even as funds are very low right now...
Once word got to my grandfather however things took a turn for the worse, suddenly I found my self being pulled out of school to stay home and clean from 6:00am – 12:00am. Scrubbing and re-scrubbing the kitchen (floors,walls, behind the fridge) everyday, the house would usually be done in the morning in it's entirety and by the time it was really hot out side I would be forced to do yard work in the backyard which consisted of simply digging three foot holes in the dirt (which is all their was, dry dusty dirt with a huge tree in the middle) so something could be planted. At one point when things weren't being done to his standard he started hitting me with various objects, or just plain pushing me to the floor and kicking me in the mouth and threatening that if I were to fight back he'd go load one of his guns. From which point I was moved into the dirty, paint chipped, filthy, dust filled garage which was cluttered with a mess of miscellaneous objects of varying uselessness. I slept on a thin wooden table with a small pillow and a blanket, I ate rice and beans and was allowed water but other then that if I was not working I was to be in the garage. I lived like this for a few weeks before I finally snapped, I started screaming things to my self out loud and in my head, I just lost it while my grandmother watched from inside the house. I was in the backyard and it was the middle of the day, I started walking her way and she locked the door, I regained my senses in an instant and knew I couldn't stay there. Luckily she hadn't locked the back door to my room, I gathered what little I owned and stole as much canned goods as I could, stuffed them in my pack and took off with my little bother. We jumped from friends house to friends house for a few weeks before my younger brother got discouraged and went back, which was fine as he was never the target of a beating. Eventually my grandparents would foul things up by calling my father while he was in rehab to see if I had contacted him, he of course said no as I hadn't but when they refused to tell him what was going on he signed him self out of rehab and called the police. I was contacted through trusted sources and worked an agreement with my grandfather to get the government off his back and get my father back in rehab, as long as he kept his communications with me brief while I lived there and when all was as said and done that he would play stupid as to where I went when my father got out again because I was not sticking around. All was handled and I was given an ultimatum, I wont go into the decent Scientology family I was allowed to stay with suffice it to say they showed me that at least some of the tech is workable. I would never return to course at Asho and after my father got out of rehab and I moved back in with him my attention again would go to the occult. Every now and again I would do something I felt crossed the line and would return for an ethics handling, actually I haven't finished my last one and haven't been back. If anything, this I regret, because they now have things in my folder I am not proud of and this will keep me from speaking out against them publicly, unless I can get my hands on that folder.
I am a solitary occult practitioner as of right now and have been devouring the self clearing book by The Pilot, I haven't read superscio yet, I've been trying to find books like the bare faced messiah in PDF. I'm starting to see the organization as the cult it really is and have lost interest in dealing with them, right now I'm trying to find a way to continue my studies and hopefully even continue research but I need an Emeter, maybe some of you will know where I can get one for cheap or free even as funds are very low right now...
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I thought you asked me this already... I've been jumping around different ebooks a lot, I should probably just settle on one and read it all the way through but I can't help but to jump from one to another. The only one I've actually completed is "Believe what you like", which I thought was really interesting. On top of jumping from these online books I'm also reading through The Pilot's Self Clearing book (once I start reading this I stop reading other things) and from time to time I'll glance at SuperScio. I downloaded some Clearbird and various other writings but haven't touched them yet. There is so fucking much to read! Oh also, I glance through Excalibur Revisited though I'm looking at it much closer now. 
