C
Coyote13
Guest
i was involved with scientology since i was born,1976, or shortly thereafter. my mom went to the mission/org(i forget which it was) in sacramento , and we went to various events in the san francisco area if i remember correctly. in about 1984 my mom sent my brother and older sister and i down to l.a. to be with my stepfather in the sea org. he was at aola i believe(but i mostly recall him being on the rpf shortly after my mom came down to l.a. with my little sister).
we were in the ceo and went to public school from the ceo sometimes(someplace out in studio city i believe), other than that we worked(picked up trash, did dishes, scrubbed floored, scrapped wax off the floor, etc etc. and we ran hella amok. there was little adult supervision and there were hardly enough adults to watch the kids cause they were all working so we did whatever we wanted to basically and they expected us to behave just because they told us to, as if we were emotionally and mentally mature enough to take care of ourselves, or we should be.
we basically did whatever we wanted to do without any real repercussions or supervision. my mom did certs and awards at aola and my stepfather was on the rpf, so we had no real parents, except when they could earn time with us. needless to say, we rose hell given that we were left on our own baiscally(8-10 years old, acting out going wild for lack of adult supervision/guidance/love/comapssion, go figure
), my mom and stepfather got kicked out in 1985, we were hella happy about it.
we had to live in our car for a while and we lived with some dude named jack farmer at the fountain arms, and we went to portland in 1985 abnd stayed there for a month or so protesting some lawsuit against scientology. we were told to get on the next bus back to l.a. by security i remember, i think relating to mine and my brothers actions previously. we went back to the fountain arms(an apartment complex right around the corner from the parking structure). and then moved to the shangri lodge(right accross from the celbrity center).
we lived there until 1988 or 1989 i believe,apartment 315. i remember going to public school, but most if not all my friends were kids of scientologists. i started hanging out with non scientologists myself, but my brother and little sister didnt. my parents worked hella hours, but we went hungry a lot, i suspect from their "freeloader" debt(imagine, slaving for some group like 12+ hours a day and getting $24/week for upstats,$12/week for downstats and feeding them beans and brown rice and plain yogurt with honey and subhuman living quarters and then being charged for being a "freeloader" after you leave lol f@@king hillarious eh) i was forced to do the purifwhen i was 10 or 11 and lied about being done(when i said i lied later on, they said i really didnt, i just didnt know that what i said was actually the truth, what?!?!? lol)
my brother and i would try and leave after we got dropped of at la day for the purif, but theyd grab us andwed be sent to ethics. i did the success through communications course, again, my brother and i tried to ditch out hella, but we were forced, my stepfather said he paid too much for us to just f@@k it off, and its gonna help us so we better do it(i think it just taught me how to dissociate from an interaction and be disconnected unless prerequisite criterion for a "successful com cycle" are met,which could only by met by someone else who conditioned themselves in a similar way(but why would you flatten your emotional responses,um isnt that like what being a human is? like having real genuine feelings and emotions?)
i did the how to get along wit hothers course as well, but i dont rememebr doing it. i went to flag when i was 12(1989). we were living in the house of some lady named sylvia morales/bradford and i was sent to live with her in key largo(near clearwater). i was supposed to do the student hat course, but was having a hard time( again, little or no supervision,being only 12 sent away from your family to live with some strange lady who constantly told me what a lowly piece of crap my mom was and how i was better of with her(the sylvia lady they sent me to live with).
things got harder and harder and i just wanted to go home and i finally was able to go home after a month or so, i did the basic study manual then so they could send me off with a success story, but i refused to do even that, i just wanted to be back with my family. so they had me do the learning book, which i finished in a few days just so they could say i finished something out there and i got to go back home to l.a. with my family. things changed hella. i had a harder and harder time with my parents. they kept trying to use scientology "tech" instead of asking me what was wrong and really listening to me and giving me attention and love and protecting me from people that would harm me and my siblings.
i ran away from home twice after that and once i stayed away for 3 months, but had to come back. when i was 18 i went to a psych ward( i was an adult and could legally make decissions without my parents) and my mom cried and said i was a zombie and acted like i was dead(as opposed to say asking whats up and why do i feel the way i feel and whats been going on and showing concern) and acted as if i was doing it only to hurt her(cause i had no problems and i was super happy as far as she was concerned lol) after i got out of the hospital i lived with her for a while longer before visiting seattle and her kicking me out, well telling me i couldnt come back home, the day before we were supposed to go back to l.a. i suspect that because of the whole psych hospital thing she wanted to dissaccociate from me, my mom puts scientology above the wellbeing of her own family.
my mom and stepfather(they divorced, but hes always been my stepfather, so thats what i call him) are still scientologists, as well as my brother, my little sister i dont know sometimes, she downplays a lot of things and "doesnt rememebr" a whole lot, my older sister definitely isnt a scientologist. im the only one of of us who really talks about things growing up and how it affected me and what i think about it now(i at least try, my little sister just pretends it never happend and my mom and brother are scientologists still so theres no willingness to discuss anything that might possibly be negative or painful to remember or show any flaws in scientology or even in herself). my brother hangs out with most of the people we grew up with at the shangri lodge and other scientologists so its kinda hard to talk to him, hes kinda like a wall. i dont have any interaction with scientology other than through family( i dont talk to them much ).
ive been on a path of self discovery, trying to find an independent sense of self which isnt dependent upon others approval(though for sure its nice to be acknowledged) but rather being who me is. thats what the point of scientology is supposed to be ironically enough. i think that message struck a chord with me, but i took it literally, i guess i didnt know they meant " the you that we want you to be". anyways, i guess thats about it, theres more beyond this, but i think its a good start eh, if any of you have lived at the shangri lodge in the years 1986-1990 i may have known you(definitely if you were a kid, they had movies nights where we all kicked it in the playroom eh). im curious if any of those people left scientology and how they are doing. i know hella of them are still in it cause my brother still chills with that circle.
peace and blessings for now.
"Truth is not a majority vote"
(i edited this post in order to put paragraphs to make it somewhat easier to read,thanks)
we were in the ceo and went to public school from the ceo sometimes(someplace out in studio city i believe), other than that we worked(picked up trash, did dishes, scrubbed floored, scrapped wax off the floor, etc etc. and we ran hella amok. there was little adult supervision and there were hardly enough adults to watch the kids cause they were all working so we did whatever we wanted to basically and they expected us to behave just because they told us to, as if we were emotionally and mentally mature enough to take care of ourselves, or we should be.
we basically did whatever we wanted to do without any real repercussions or supervision. my mom did certs and awards at aola and my stepfather was on the rpf, so we had no real parents, except when they could earn time with us. needless to say, we rose hell given that we were left on our own baiscally(8-10 years old, acting out going wild for lack of adult supervision/guidance/love/comapssion, go figure
), my mom and stepfather got kicked out in 1985, we were hella happy about it. we had to live in our car for a while and we lived with some dude named jack farmer at the fountain arms, and we went to portland in 1985 abnd stayed there for a month or so protesting some lawsuit against scientology. we were told to get on the next bus back to l.a. by security i remember, i think relating to mine and my brothers actions previously. we went back to the fountain arms(an apartment complex right around the corner from the parking structure). and then moved to the shangri lodge(right accross from the celbrity center).
we lived there until 1988 or 1989 i believe,apartment 315. i remember going to public school, but most if not all my friends were kids of scientologists. i started hanging out with non scientologists myself, but my brother and little sister didnt. my parents worked hella hours, but we went hungry a lot, i suspect from their "freeloader" debt(imagine, slaving for some group like 12+ hours a day and getting $24/week for upstats,$12/week for downstats and feeding them beans and brown rice and plain yogurt with honey and subhuman living quarters and then being charged for being a "freeloader" after you leave lol f@@king hillarious eh
) i was forced to do the purifwhen i was 10 or 11 and lied about being done(when i said i lied later on, they said i really didnt, i just didnt know that what i said was actually the truth, what?!?!? lol) my brother and i would try and leave after we got dropped of at la day for the purif, but theyd grab us andwed be sent to ethics. i did the success through communications course, again, my brother and i tried to ditch out hella, but we were forced, my stepfather said he paid too much for us to just f@@k it off, and its gonna help us so we better do it(i think it just taught me how to dissociate from an interaction and be disconnected unless prerequisite criterion for a "successful com cycle" are met,which could only by met by someone else who conditioned themselves in a similar way(but why would you flatten your emotional responses,um isnt that like what being a human is? like having real genuine feelings and emotions?)
i did the how to get along wit hothers course as well, but i dont rememebr doing it. i went to flag when i was 12(1989). we were living in the house of some lady named sylvia morales/bradford and i was sent to live with her in key largo(near clearwater). i was supposed to do the student hat course, but was having a hard time( again, little or no supervision,being only 12 sent away from your family to live with some strange lady who constantly told me what a lowly piece of crap my mom was and how i was better of with her(the sylvia lady they sent me to live with).
things got harder and harder and i just wanted to go home and i finally was able to go home after a month or so, i did the basic study manual then so they could send me off with a success story, but i refused to do even that, i just wanted to be back with my family. so they had me do the learning book, which i finished in a few days just so they could say i finished something out there and i got to go back home to l.a. with my family. things changed hella. i had a harder and harder time with my parents. they kept trying to use scientology "tech" instead of asking me what was wrong and really listening to me and giving me attention and love and protecting me from people that would harm me and my siblings.
i ran away from home twice after that and once i stayed away for 3 months, but had to come back. when i was 18 i went to a psych ward( i was an adult and could legally make decissions without my parents) and my mom cried and said i was a zombie and acted like i was dead(as opposed to say asking whats up and why do i feel the way i feel and whats been going on and showing concern) and acted as if i was doing it only to hurt her(cause i had no problems and i was super happy as far as she was concerned lol) after i got out of the hospital i lived with her for a while longer before visiting seattle and her kicking me out, well telling me i couldnt come back home, the day before we were supposed to go back to l.a. i suspect that because of the whole psych hospital thing she wanted to dissaccociate from me, my mom puts scientology above the wellbeing of her own family.
my mom and stepfather(they divorced, but hes always been my stepfather, so thats what i call him) are still scientologists, as well as my brother, my little sister i dont know sometimes, she downplays a lot of things and "doesnt rememebr" a whole lot, my older sister definitely isnt a scientologist. im the only one of of us who really talks about things growing up and how it affected me and what i think about it now(i at least try, my little sister just pretends it never happend and my mom and brother are scientologists still so theres no willingness to discuss anything that might possibly be negative or painful to remember or show any flaws in scientology or even in herself). my brother hangs out with most of the people we grew up with at the shangri lodge and other scientologists so its kinda hard to talk to him, hes kinda like a wall. i dont have any interaction with scientology other than through family( i dont talk to them much ).
ive been on a path of self discovery, trying to find an independent sense of self which isnt dependent upon others approval(though for sure its nice to be acknowledged) but rather being who me is. thats what the point of scientology is supposed to be ironically enough. i think that message struck a chord with me, but i took it literally, i guess i didnt know they meant " the you that we want you to be"
. anyways, i guess thats about it, theres more beyond this, but i think its a good start eh, if any of you have lived at the shangri lodge in the years 1986-1990 i may have known you(definitely if you were a kid, they had movies nights where we all kicked it in the playroom eh). im curious if any of those people left scientology and how they are doing. i know hella of them are still in it cause my brother still chills with that circle. peace and blessings for now.
"Truth is not a majority vote"
(i edited this post in order to put paragraphs to make it somewhat easier to read,thanks)
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