Here I am

[Miss Penguin]

I've been lurking for quite sometime and have enjoyed many of your stories. I'm OT 5 and have recently (more like for the last two years) become disillusioned with what is going on in Scn. I'm "in good standing" but haven't been active as an OT Committee member or on course for several months. I have family member on staff, so I've been keeping my feelings to myself for the most part so as not to loose this person. I've done the gradually pull away thing.

There are many more like me who are keeping things good roads good weather with the org and terminals but know what is going on with DM, abuses etc. Most I know are fed up with the constant financial demands and demands of our time. That alone has become enough to blow public off the line without the whole DM beats his staff etc. Our local Ideal Org evolution has become engramic for many. I've never seen such a demand for money in my 20 plus years in Scn. The focus has been and is off helping people. I didn't get into Scn to create large buildings with nice MEST.

I was in the S.O. for a few years when I became pregnant and refused to get an abortion. All these years later and I can still recall the look on Kaye Conley's (not sure how to spell her last name) face when she cornered me in the bathroom, while looking at my large belly shook her head at me in disgust and said "How could you!" Back then we were sent to failing Class 4 orgs, it was a disaster.

This is the first time I've ever posted on a forum or website like this, though I've been reading them for the last almost two years. I'm hoping to find old friends and make new ones.

 

[Kathy (ImOut)]

Welcome.

I just don't get that line "how could you?". I would have given a smart ass remark, such as, "well my husband stuck his thingy in me and stuff came out of it and now look at my tummy. It must be an allergic reaction". (Yes, I'm a smart ass.)

Glad you're here. It's a very helpful, fun place to be.

 

[dontscamme]

Glad you decided to post.

Hope to hear more from you.

 

[La La Lou Lou]

Miss Penguin, youve just made a very big step...see, you didnt explode!

Well done. Welcome to wogdom, it's surprisingly pleasant! I know it's scary making the giant leap, but it's worth it.

I would love to hear about what it's like in the current scene, you dont have to give specifics, like where exactly, if you want to keep annonymous.



La La

 

[Miss Penguin]

Thanks for the welcomes. Kathy you are so right, I should have. Back then I was a young, intimidated girl. I was shocked when she said it. Up until that point my time in the S.O. was fairly uneventful. Trust me that would not happen today, I'd be ready to tell her where to stick it.

I guess I didn't explode, you are right. As far as a current scene goes, the main focus is the Ideal Org evolution. There is an OT Committee member now in charge of getting people to move up to their next IAS status. This is being done in OT committees all around is my understanding. I have friends who are gradually pulling away also. There is a definite attitude of "this is what you can will now do for us" from the staff. The days of "what would you like to handle or improve" are over. It's now here is what you need to do. There are still some good terminals around and my heart goes out to them. I know they think they are doing the right thing. I perceive that they know what is going on is wrong but they think creating these Ideal Orgs will make it all better.

I had someone I new a few years ago who now lives in LA ( I don't live in Clearwater or LA) call me with a business proposal, it was some multi level thing. The odd thing was she first wanted to know how I was doing on my basics etc. I felt like she was feeling me out to make sure I was still onboard. There is this world of the "ins" and the "pseudo-ins", if that makes sense. Both feel each other out to see what it is safe to talk about it. It's all very strange.

There are no 1-3 events a weekend and tons of calls and emails about how vital each is and we must be there. It's just surreal how things have gotten. I'm still trying to make sense of it.

 

[gerry]

Welcome to ESMB Miss Penguin

All these years later and I can still recall the look on Kaye Conley's (not sure how to spell her last name) face when she cornered me in the bathroom, while looking at my large belly shook her head at me in disgust and said "How could you!"

How can Scientology ever be called a religion ?

 

[GreyWolf]

Welcome. I hope you will be happy here. I know I am. About the "how could you :confused2: " I am with Kathy on that one. You should have told her that there are books that tell how that happens.

 

[La La Lou Lou]

Wow Miss Penguin, very interesting, gawd Im glad Im not in!

I used to look forward to events a long time ago, meeting old friends, it was very pleasant, that was in another century!

I do hope youll keep us informed.




La La

 

[Carmel]

Hello and welcome, Miss Penguin.

I'm glad you've started posting, and am looking forward to getting to know ya!

 

[Feral]

Mmmm, Kaye Conelly, one of my least favorite people. That family must have undergone surgery to remove their humanity.

Welcome Miss Penguin, I hope you enjoy the forum.

 

[Type4_PTS]

There are many more like me who are keeping things good roads good weather with the org and terminals but know what is going on with DM, abuses etc.

Hey Miss Penguin......Welcome, glad you've decided to post here.
I find it ironic that you are using the good roads/good weather (basic PTS/SP Tech) to handle the org!
Have you had any indication at all that any of the staff are also aware of the abuse's, DM, ect?

 

[DCAnon]

 

[ExDDofT]

Hi!

Hi! I know how you were made to feel and I was one of the staff members/SO members who cared for the public and was constantly backed into a wall so to speak to ask them to do things I didn't feel was right. Yes, even the staff don't feel so kosher about what's going on, no matter how they coat it with talk of this being a Life-or-Death deal and how bad and out-ethics and off-purpose we were if we "went into agreement" with the public's barriers-like starving or losing your house or job-those little tidbits. I was even made to text a wealthy public at a late hour to ask for donations of basics in order to "make our quotas" for the night so we could go home and sleep. I did it because it was more painful to see the desperate, tired looks on the faces of those staff members under me.

Public have no idea what our lives were like at the release of the "Basics." It was a living hell-quite frankly-lack of sleep, food and even your very privacy. How to make people crack-I lived it. Til I finally decided to survive and I blew. And my comm ev that labeled me failed to mention the years of service, tons of public I moved through training and helped get onto their next OT levels or onto Solo NOT's because I was the only person they trusted to get them through their Training programs-not one mention of any of that-just that I was suppressive and conspiring against the release of the basics and that I blew so therefore I'm an SP and a monsterous person not to be touched, talked to, looked at or you might blow up!

I even had an ex-husband, who cheated on me repeatedly, lied on more than one Sec Check about it, took my money, put me in a terrible state of debt and bad credit, fought me going to the SO, refused to sign divorce papers once I was in the SO and even owes a huge debt himself to his local org and Flag- not a SCN in his actions and never was-even he sent me some stupid message after I blew and he found out about my label-"I can't beleive you got yourself declared! Handle your status!"

Ha! LMAO! Freakin' Hypocrite! The lying, cheating bastard who has done nothing for anyone but himself, EVER, is higher in respect than the girl who gave 7 years of her life selflessly to helping others through sleep depravation, near starvation at times, sickness and emotional hell!

That is the state of the Scn organization as it stands now and that is not Truth and Goodness to me!

-Mitch

 

[ExDDofT]

 

[Rae]

Hey..Mitch is sure an interesting name for someone with an ex-husband! But what the hey..thanks for posting some of your story.

And Miss Penguin..welcome aboard! Would love to hear more of the recent scene in scioland and of course, more of your experiences.

 

[Zinjifar]

Welcome aboard Miss Penguin. You're not in the antarctica of the soul any more

Welcome to the thaw.

Zinj

 

[Outethicsofficer]

Hi Miss Penquin

Glad to see you have arrived where you have arrived, both my wife and I have recently... if you call since February 2009 recent, announced to all we are out, you will find much support here, we certainly have.

James

 

[skollie]

Miss Penquin

 

[dchoiceisalwaysrs]

Welcome Miss Penguin.

My ex used to call me Penguin, so I guess that makes two of us.

 

[scooter]

Miss Penguin - glad to have you here and posting.

Don't try too hard to make sense of what you've left - it's nonsensicle.

It's just a small, bitter, twisted little man trying to make the world pay for his shortness of stature and character - and he's using the cult of $cientology to do it.

It will all be over soon.

Any more stories for us?