Well, after some time struggling like i just described we decided to leave, to move where we thought my husband would get better pay, at another org. He had also started on his internship at this point and got together the cash for OT III. Unfortunatly he needed a lot of further auditing on ot preps so the whole amount was basically spent on FPRD. It was kind of funny though, that we fought worse than ever after this, and on a daily basis we had to get enough money together for him to get in session and on training.
We had to live on pasta again most of the time. I remember one occassion where we just couldnt get the money together, all i had was about enough to feed our family for four days, and the solo staff were convincing me that i should give the money to my husband so he could get in session the following day. I tried so many times to explain that his whole salary could not go to the church, that we needed to eat as well, but they just sent me to ethics and the MAA had a go at me (very angry) about that she did understand why my husband thought all his salary should be spent on the bridge (well, he was also convinced that this was the only way, by them, hour after hour after hour that that was the only way out of our poverty, that he did the OT III so all would sort out, cause that was the reason for our financial trouble) and that i was spoiled. (well how about the kids? were they spoiled for needeing a place to live and eat?) Im telling you, im not a big spender at all and ive never ever had more money than about enough to survive a simple lifestyle.
Even when it was really impossible for him to get to the org because of work and no money, they would still call all day and night, until he borrowed money or took the last foodmoney that we had. Over and over. They would come home to us, causing a huge scene shouting outside our door so that the neighbours would all come out to see what was going on. I just wanted sometimes to spend a weekendday off with my husband, the kids never saw him for years, and im not kidding when i say that. They would usually go to bed long before he arrived home from post. When i told them i thought 2d was important i once got the comment with a weird look in their eyes "but its just a 2d..." For me my kids are one of the most important things in my life, and i felt that was a horrible thing to say.
Anyway. There was this solostaff standing outside our door knocking, ringing, shouting at us to open, i promise she was standing there for hours. (i understand why she did it and so on, i know how they feel and think about OTIII, but it was still very upsetting) And finally i opened the door, and she just stared at me and said she wanted to see my husband, and he went out. She was really pissed off at him and was standing shouting for quite some time (still with an audience of neighbours, i wounder what they thought.. lol... a so-member in a uniform probably look lika a cop or something to them.)
Anyways i was sent to ethics again after that incident, for having worn jeans and a top that the so-officer thought was an attempt by me to be sexy. It was a damn joke. It was a perfectly normal black, loose summertop in black that didnt really show any parts of my body exept my arms and shoulders. I had to explain all of that to the MAA later. But why? i thought. Cant i wear what i want in my own house on a weekend with my husband? Did we need to wear clothes while having sex too? Or did i need to be prepared clotheswise for SO-members showing up at my doorstep every night? Silly.
It really saddens me to hear such things about the treatment of children in scientology. They're only little for such a short time and before you know it they're moving out and on their own.
. By taking them away from scientology you proved that you are a good mother. They will be so much better off by being out of the cult.
