ESMB has entered archive mode. All posts and threads that were available to the general public are still readable. The board is still searchable. 

Thank you all for your participation and readership over the last 12 years.

If you want to join in the conversation, please join the new ESMB Redux at www.exscn2.net.



That's my story and I'm sticking with it

Discussion in 'Stories From Inside Scientology' started by Babycakes, Jun 20, 2010.

View Users: View Users
  1. Babycakes

    Babycakes Patron

    I've been thinking about writing this story for a long time. I don't know if there's any benefit in one more story -- not that they're all the same, but what can you learn from yet another detailing of the insanity? Perhaps the key is just to get it out, spill it, let it go once and for all. Well, here goes.

    My mom introduced me to scientology in the summer of 1967, right after I offered her some LSD. She politely refused and said she was happy with what she was doing. I had to ask, "What?" Thus began my journey into the dark and crazy. I went down to the Phoenix franchise (before they were called missions, they were 'franchises' -- sounds kind of like a business, doesn't it?) and signed up for the communications course. I liked it. So I signed up for the dianetics auditor course. I even had an old Mark V emeter, the one made out of wood. I don't recall ever being trained how to actually use it, but it sat on my desk while I "audited" my "preclears." I got all my friends to agree to be audited. They liked it enough to get further into it. God, forgive me.

    Back in the '60s there was something called "quickie grades." This means that the lower levels of the 'bridge' were being done in a quick and incomplete way. Hubbard later issued a bulletin making it a high crime to deliver "quickie grades." I zoomed through Grades 0 - IV in a few months -- totally nuts. By December I was at St. Hill doing the clearing course.

    There were posters around talking about the Sea Organization and about how Hubbard needed strong, dedicated people to help him clear the planet. Hey, I wasn't doing anything, what the heck? I went home and sold everything I owned and bought a one-way plane ticket to Barcelona, Spain. It was early 1968.

    Oh. My. God. See, this is what happens when you do a lot of drugs and have no future and then think someone else has a better idea of what to do with your life than you do. The first Advanced Org was in Alicante, so I took a bus to Alicante. What a beautiful place -- the city, not the org. Since I had never been on staff before, all the activities and functions were foreign to me. In fact, the only job I'd had was pumping gas. I'd never seen one of those ridiculous organizing boards before and I'd never heard of HCO Policy Letters. It didn't really matter. No one cared what you did or didn't know about how things were run. They were just glad of another warm body. I did something clerical for a while and then was told I was being assigned to the Royal Scotman (later named the Apollo).

    I have to go now. This is the beginning of the story. There will be more, but I'm still dithering about putting it all out there.
     
  2. AnonyMary

    AnonyMary Formerly Fooled - Finally Free

    Hi Babycakes! Welcome and good start on your story. Looking forward to more :yes:
     
  3. Babycakes

    Babycakes Patron

    Wow, that was fast.

    Thank you.
     
  4. Miss Pert

    Miss Pert Silver Meritorious Patron

    Welcome Babycakes! :wave:

    We're a patient lot around here, so take your time.
     
  5. Nicole

    Nicole Silver Meritorious Patron

    :welcome:

    If you like and you are able to,I would like to hear more of your history!
     
  6. dchoiceisalwaysrs

    dchoiceisalwaysrs Gold Meritorious Patron

    :welcome: Babycakes

    For every road traveled there are many views. I am enjoying yours.:thumbsup:
     
  7. Free to shine

    Free to shine Shiny & Free

    I love stories from that time, as I arrived at Saint Hill in 1968 (late) and had family on the first ships. Looking forward to more!
     
  8. Kathy (ImOut)

    Kathy (ImOut) Gold Meritorious Patron

    Welcome, Babycakes.
     
  9. GreyWolf

    GreyWolf Gold Meritorious Patron

    Welcome and hey, good start on the story. I have found that telling it has been very therapudic for me.
     
  10. Wisened One

    Wisened One Crusader

    :welcome: Babycakes

    Sounds like you have a bunch of stories and from the earlier days, too!

    Please....keep going.....:drama: :)
     
  11. Type4_PTS

    Type4_PTS Diamond Invictus SP

    Welcome Babycakes! :happydance:

    Thank-You for sharing your story. :yes:

    :drama::drama:
     
  12. Opter

    Opter Silver Meritorious Patron

    Welcome Babycakes.:)

    I would love all of your story.:yes:Doesn't have to be all at once.

    Opter
     
  13. Cherished

    Cherished Silver Meritorious Patron

    Babycakes (cute name!), I agree that there's something valuable it just getting it "out". It can be therapeutic in itself.

    There's also great value in another story being told because it highlights the reality that there are so very many people now "out" (whether of the CoS or of Scientology) and willing to talk. The momentum is strong and it's helping others feel good about taking their first steps toward freedom.

    For all those reasons, and just because we love a story, do go on...
     
  14. MostlyLurker

    MostlyLurker Patron Meritorious

    Welcome Babycakes!
    I'm looking forward to read more of your story :happydance:
     
  15. VaD

    VaD Gold Meritorious Patron

    Welcome, BabyCakes! :goodposting:

    Please, continue...
     
  16. AnonyMary

    AnonyMary Formerly Fooled - Finally Free

    I hoped I'd catch you before you signed off, lol. Really looking forward to more when u have the time :)
     
  17. Babycakes

    Babycakes Patron

    I left out some things from my time at the Phoenix franchise: Heber Jentzsch was a newbie in scientology at that time and would sing for us, long-haired folk singer that he was. Also present was Peter Gillham -- before he was with Yvonne. After Henry Schlicting passed away, Peter and Doran Greene ran the franchise with their daughter Lauri.
    My mom was one of the first "clears" from the Phoenix area. She and the other clears would have a little get-together once a month and tell their stories of St. Hill. My mom had met John McMasters and told about him. I'd forgotten that among the members of the "clear club" was a couple -- two men who were pretty openly gay. No one seemed to think anything of it -- they were not ostracized, in fact, they were the life of the party.

    So, picking up where I left off...I actually signed that crazy billion year contract at the AO in Alicante. Since I was a recent druggie, the nuttiness of it didn't truly sink in. I was just going with the flow *facepalm*. After writing the first part of this story, I tried to remember what it felt like and, honestly, I cannot get even a shred of the feelings that certainly must have been happening. I was in a fog.

    IIRC, I boarded the Royal Scotman in Alicante -- it might have been someplace else, who knows? Again, I can't conjure up what my reaction was at the moment I saw the ship or when I stepped aboard or when they showed me to my bunk -- well, here I do have a pretty strong reaction, mostly nausea -- it was so disgusting. And I was scared: What had I gotten myself into?

    I put my meager belongings under my bunk, changed into a boiler suit thing and was assigned my first post: dishwasher.

    Got to go. It's time for Sunday brunch. Thank you all for welcoming me and encouraging me. This might be fun, don't know yet.
     
  18. WildKat

    WildKat Gold Meritorious Patron

    keep on

    Welcome!

    It's important to hear stories from people who were there in the early days with LRH on the scene. When everything was supposedly glorious and fun. So let it all out, it's therapeutic. For you and everyone here!
     
  19. Babycakes

    Babycakes Patron

    Glorious and fun? I must have missed that part. In looking back and attempting to analyze the situation (through a haze of time and limited attention), I've realized that the "commodore" was not playing with a full deck. I mean, come on, a pretend Navy??? Not to mention the horrible conditions, truly evil punishments, bat-sh*t crazy people in charge. The one who comes to mind first is Baron Berez -- a man on a mission to demean, demoralize and terrify any and all who crossed his path (and a few who didn't). And I do not believe for one second that Hubbard did not know every little tiny thing that was going on. For years that was what I told myself: he must not have known, otherwise how could the horrific treatment of human beings that was the norm, go on as it did?
     
  20. WildKat

    WildKat Gold Meritorious Patron

    glorious and fun

    "Glorious and fun" was a reference to the Marty crew and some freezoners who are trying to sell the idea that all the problems in the church are because of David Miscavige and that the LRH-era was 'real Scientology" where everyone was happy and going free. Most people on this forum know better.

    There have been abuses all along, but some would like to re-write history. That's why I say it is important to hear from people like you who were there in the early days. We want to hear truth, not a white-washed version of "LRH the hero".