The beginning

[Challenge]

As I told you, I left Phoenix and my abusive husband, and soon went to my Mother's home with my infant daughter. I didn't know for sure that my baby was OK, when they are so new there is little to judge by. She slept so much, and she took her nourishment, but she never cried or made a sound so I worried. I began to occasionally pinch her to see if she would cry. She did.

I couldn't spend much time with her because I had to go to work. I have already told you that I left with her and $20 on the Greyhound bus. I went to work for Arthur Murray. After a training period, I taught for a couple of months and then I was promoted to the Sales dept.

I held training for the Sales staff. I taught them TRs, and had them drill TR0-4 every day before working. Talk about Hard Sell. O Baby! We actually had skits that we would perform to get people to buy. It was not unlike Regging inthe COS.

At the same time, I had started a Dianetic co-audit with Allen Kapuler at the 'Center'. The 'Center' was run by Red Shea, and Dolores Stokes audited there. ( My time frame might not be totally accurate here).

I was dating a Texas multi-millionaire who had given me a bright red Packard convertible so that I could stop riding two busses to work. Then he gave me a diamond watch. Then a Mink stole. Then a diamond bracelet. A charge account at Neiman Marcus. Then he asked me to marry him and I did.

I introduced him to Red and there was some early indoc done. Soon after we were married, Jack Horner and Sylvan Stein came into town . I had auditing from both and Spouse got some auditing from Jack.

Red was an alcoholic, and both he and Allen Kapuler were outrageous womanizers. I discovered that sex was a great means of communicating with the opposite sex, and I began to engage in it along with a newly developed taste for Scotch. There bagan my descent into hell. AGAIN.

I abused my marriage and my straight conservative husband was not having it. We were divorced in 1962, and I headed for California. During the years of that marriage, I had nearly 100 hours of auditing from Red on Objectives ( Military style), ran some stuff like Black and White, Left side, Right side, Center.

I had plenty of money and the freedom to travel to Washington to lectures and a bit of auditing. When I moved to Marin County, Ca. I blew it by "reverting". AGAIN. Like I told the EO at SFO, I didn't "revert", I never "unverted".

I had wonderful experiences in Hatha Yoga, in 3 or 4 LSD trips ( which were lovely, and inspiring, and uplifting), time spent at Esalen meditating and smoking pot in the hot tub, all sorts of practices. I wouldn't trade for any of it, including Scientology.

I have covered a lot of years here in one post, and it has become right boring to me and I imagine to you, so I will be about my bright day. I have one small story to tell you which in a way exemplifies Scientology for me. I don't know who wrote this story, so I can't credit an author:

One day God and Satan were walking along when God saw a bright object on the ground, which he picked up. It was radiant in his palm. Satan said 'what is that?' God said 'It is Truth'. Satan said" let me have that, I'll organize it for you".

Chlng

 

[Lesolee (Sith Lord)]

TR2 1/2

I, for one, am not bored.

If you feel like re-typing that long piece about LRH and drugs (which was deleted accidentally) I am sure there would be a lot of interest.

 

[Div6]

I, for one, am not bored.

If you feel like re-typing that long piece about LRH and drugs (which was deleted accidentally) I am sure there would be a lot of interest.

I second this motion.

As your time allows.


Please?

 

[Tiger Lily]

I second this motion.

As your time allows.


Please?

me too!

TL

 

[HappyGirl]

Wow, Chlg, I missed this the first time! and thanks for writing your "Ending" thread!

 

[Lynn Fountain Campbell]

Wow, Chlg, I missed this the first time! and thanks for writing your "Ending" thread!

Yes! Me too. Thank you, Challenge. More please.

Lynn

 

[FoTi]

I would love to read more of your stories too, Challenge.

 

[Blue Spirit]

DRUGS ?

Hi Challenge.
Your story is one of the better ones !

Well done on maintaining your integrity at AOLA !

Please do that segment on LRH and drugs.
Actually it is the last piece needed in my LRH research
so I can get on with my life somehow.

I know the feeling of accidentally erasing a long item from
the computer. I've done it multiple times. It may have to do
with an overly sensitive setting on the mouse of a laptop,
although I'm no computer wiz.

Perhaps you could start off with a summary of your
experiences with LRH and drugs giving dates and types first.
Later you might add in other details.
What do you think ?

 

[Vinaire]

It is better to write a long post in a word processor, where one can save it as one goes along.

Once the post is completed then one can copy and paste it into ESMB.

.

 

[Opter]

Great story Challange.

I've just read it and I found it very interesting.

Opter

 

[Challenge]

It is better to write a long post in a word processor, where one can save it as one goes along.

Once the post is completed then one can copy and paste it into ESMB.

.

I am sure that all you other folks here know how to do that stuff, and will take the time to do it. I don't know how, and I don't care to learn. All's I wanna do is read and post here once in a while. I don't think that anything I have to say is worth my saving it and copying and pasting it. Well, I suppose I could do it. Doesn't seem to me to be worth the effort.

Chlng

 

[Challenge]

I don't understand why you guys are so interested in LRHs drug use. How else do you think he would "research " them if he didn't use them? How else could he have turned out the monstrous volume of words that he did, both spoken and written, were it not for the help from Amphetamines? How would it be if Staff were on various drugs? Nothing would get done in an Org. PCs would be laughing and giggling and not the least bit interested in "their case".
So LRH used drugs.
He did not enjoy Marijuana. He said it gave him bad breath. Although once when he was on a pot high with a certain stand-up Comedian from the Playboy Club, he got the idea of "being out of your head".
He preferred chemicals. All kinds, mixed up together. That includes prescription meds. I don't know their names. Tuinal might be one, or it could have been 2-in-all. Either way, it was Cocaine and Heroin mixed together.
Cocaine was in use. Peyote. Lsd. Mr Hubbard preferred Amphetamines, such as Dexedrine and Benzedrine.
I suggest that you read "Nibs" ( L Ron, Jr.) story of his Father's drug use. He was the closest to it. Also reports by others on the substances that Hub kept
in his quarters.
I am reluctant to discuss any one's drug use. It is a Moral Code,( like the WTH is a moral code), that you do not reveal any one'd drug use. Divulging that would have gotten you killed in the 50s. I've struggled with the "Drug Moral Code" as opposed to scientology's moral code thruout my 33 years in and out of cos.
Thank you Jesus that I am out, and I don't have that conflict any longer.

chlng

 

[Lesolee (Sith Lord)]

A link to an interview with Nibs, 1983 ...

http://www.lermanet.com/scientologynews/penthouse-LRonHubbardJr-interview-1983.htm

 

[Blue Spirit]

LRH ETHICS

Well I lost the whole post by going to another site to get a link, so I'll start again:

Thank you for posting on LRH's drug use Challenge; I know it took courage.

It seems to me that LRH could have made his goal of "Total Freedom" IF
he had kept his ethics in.

His apparent drug use, out 2-D incidents, attitude toward women, and his general resistive and destructive attitude toward all others was his downfall.

Also not keeping his ethics in on his health did not allow enough time to finish the research, it would seem, which was his goal. The potential was there to keep a healthy body until age 90 as a minimum.

His attitude toward women could also likely have cost him research assistants, as it seems somehow odd to me that all of the contributors to the research were male except Ava Berner with the Study Tech.

The use of drugs to my simplistic concept seems to make parts of the "Tech"
suspect. Which parts ????????????

His generally resistive and paranoid attitude eventually through a chain of events led to the IRS owning the copyrights of Scientology (see the Church of Spiritual Technology) so that resistive power pulled in the worst possible scenario with the group taken over by a full-blown S.P. and his obvious handlers.
Hubbard systematically destroyed what he created by getting rid of others of power (some on this board) and such policies as Fair Game.
Therefore he never cultivated a proper power terminal to take over the Church and run it with ARC and sanity, while he (LRH) could have continued
full speed ahead on research and coordination of that, his forte.

If LRH had granted full beingness to others around him to apply the tech
(I think he did for a short while with Mayo, until he was third-partied) and
help in the research as they did do and give full credit to those people we might have made it close to Total Freedom.
Hubbard, apparently due to unhandled GPM's, didn't ever come to trust others and finally became an "Only One". TRAGIC !!!

(Google: "The O.J. Roos Story")

That is the way I see the situation. I resisted knowing about LRH for way too
long, because like others, I didn't want to confront any personal loss involved and believe me there is more than you might imagine in that area !

Thanks again for your post Challenge.

 

[otgirl8]

WOW - YOUR STORY IS INSPIRING

I AM JUST COMING OUT AND GETTING MY FEET WET TOO! THANKS FOR SHARING!

 

[Jachs]

I don't understand why you guys are so interested in LRHs drug use. How else do you think he would "research " them if he didn't use them?

How else could he have turned out the monstrous volume of words that he did, both spoken and written, were it not for the help from Amphetamines?

How would it be if Staff were on various drugs? Nothing would get done in an Org. PCs would be laughing and giggling and not the least bit interested in "their case".

So LRH used drugs.

He did not enjoy Marijuana. He said it gave him bad breath. Although once when he was on a pot high with a certain stand-up Comedian from the Playboy Club, he got the idea of "being out of your head".

He preferred chemicals. All kinds, mixed up together. That includes prescription meds.

I don't know their names. Tuinal might be one, or it could have been 2-in-all.

Either way, it was Cocaine and Heroin mixed together.

Cocaine was in use. Peyote. Lsd. Mr Hubbard preferred Amphetamines, such as Dexedrine and Benzedrine.

I suggest that you read "Nibs" ( L Ron, Jr.) story of his Father's drug use. He was the closest to it. Also reports by others on the substances that Hub kept
in his quarters.

snip
chlng

This is good stuff challenge.

I recall a Hubbard lecture with him warning about the psychs diagnosing Manic, he came across pretty concerned that the psychs used this term, was that state of man lectures?he got cranky saying there was no such thing as a manic. ill see if i can dig it up.

Looking at the effects of the drugs on Hubbard and his paranoid policies, high volumes of talk there is definitely similarities.

Amphetamine Effects
Mentally, you start to feel confident and elated, along with an increased desire to communicate. alertness and endurance increases. Often users talk (write) fast and continually.

Taking cocaine makes users feel on top of the world. People taking it feel wide-awake, confident and on top of their game.

People who use coke regularly often develop serious problems with anxiety and paranoia.

Mixing Cocaine and Heroin induce hypomania and/or mania
Classic symptoms of hypomania include mild euphoria, a flood of ideas, endless energy, and a desire and drive for success.

In full-blown drug induced mania, the manic person will feel as though his or her goal(s) trump all else, that there are no consequences or that negative consequences would be minimal, and that they need not exercise restraint in the pursuit of what they are after.

Mania is always relative to the normal rate of intensity of the person, an intelligent person may adopt seemingly "genius" characteristics and an ability to perform and to articulate thought beyond what they can do in a normal mood.

There are different "stages" or "states" of drug mania. A minor state is essentially hypomania and, like hypomania's characteristics, may involve increased creativity, wit, gregariousness, and ambition. Full-blown mania will make a person feel elated, but perhaps also irritable, frustrated.

Other elements of mania may include delusions (of grandeur, potential, or otherwise), hypersensitivity, hypersexuality, hyper-religiosity, hyperactivity, impulsiveness, talkativeness, an internal pressure to keep talking (over-explanation) or rapid speech, grandiose ideas and plans, and decreased need for sleep (e.g. feeling rested after 3 or 4 hours of sleep).

In manic and hypomanic cases, the afflicted person may engage in out-of-character behavior, such as questionable business transactions, wasteful expenditures of money, risky sexual activity, recreational drug abuse, abnormal social interaction, or highly vocal arguments uncharacteristic of previous behaviors.

These behaviors may increase stress in personal relationships, lead to problems at work and increase the risk of altercations with law enforcement. There is a high risk of impulsively taking part in activities potentially harmful to self and others.

See Hubbard there rattling out Pulp fiction at a high whine induced & fuelled by coke and heroin. Ron the self medicator.

also

The sensation of drugs crawling beneath the skin is associated with cocaine use.

page 426 Kaplan & Sadock's synopsis

 

[Challenge]

They told you that your daughter was born Mongoloid so they could sell her???

For $500????

Were these guys doing black magic kind of stuff when you were around too?

Or just early Scientology?

And by the way, did you ever meet Lyle Sudrow?

I lost this thread. Someone must've bumped it today.

Yes. Some were doing magic. Pentagrams and candles on the floor, and mirrors. Self hypnosis stuff. A couple that I knew were using a string with asomething on the end of it to make a 'pendulum' which they would hold over the PC while running command phrases.

Yes. I knew Lysle Sudrow, although we were in different circles. ( Lyle was a "square", lol.)


Challenge

 

[Challenge]

I just read this thread again, and I see that I had already answered this question from Alonzo.

The guy from the Playboy Club was obviously not working a Playboy Club in the early 50s. Such did not exist. Tom Melody worked the Playboy circuit as soon as the Clubs were opened. I didn't see him at a Playboy until sometime in the early 70s, but I didn't stay in touch with him after I left Phoenix. I saw him later at Bobby Sutton's home in Dallas in the mid-60s, and then got into a poker game with him and some others in the early 70s. We visited the Playboy Club in San Francisco and the Mansion in LA.

Incidentally, some of those poker players were from Dn/Scn days in Phoenix. Others were dope dealers, actors , A photographer from national Geographic, an Hwd film director, Ray Stark, ( the comic that did "Geraldine", I forget his name., and several jazz musicians. Big fun. The game lasted for 3/4 years.

In 75/76 I paid off my Freeloader debt and routed back into scn.

Most of my scn services were awarded to me. I contributed my time, energy, connections, and imagination to scn. I was given the Clearing Course and OT1 thru
OT3 by Alan Walter while a staff member in his Mission, and I was awarded all my training, except the SHSBC, by Orgs. I ended up with 3 Cl 8 courses, Happiness R/D, Survival R/D, KTL, all the word clearing courses, Sr Sec Checker, etc etc etc. whatall.

When you audit an Org HGC, you mostly forget about certs and all that, and read it, drill it, do it. If you had training in the 50s and 60s, there was no place on the modern grade chart to place your training expertise.

I started auditing ASHO's public people shortly after routing onto the SHSBC. I audited hundreds of hours on lower grade stuff for them, then graduated to "auditing by list", and corrective actions. ( I F/Nd dozens if not hundreds of CS 53s.) Then I began auditing as Cl 8 and doing Eligibility checks, OT Preps, End of Endless OT3 R/Ds, and OT4 Drug R/Ds.

One day I walked into Reception at AOLA and there were 2 guards standing at the door with billy clubs and what appeared to be gunson their belts. That was when it hit me that something was rotten at the AO. I told Dof P that my policy was not to hang out at places that needed guards at the door.

The end was nigh.


Challenge

 

[Div6]

I don't understand why you guys are so interested in LRHs drug use. How else do you think he would "research " them if he didn't use them? How else could he have turned out the monstrous volume of words that he did, both spoken and written, were it not for the help from Amphetamines? How would it be if Staff were on various drugs? Nothing would get done in an Org. PCs would be laughing and giggling and not the least bit interested in "their case".
So LRH used drugs.
He did not enjoy Marijuana. He said it gave him bad breath. Although once when he was on a pot high with a certain stand-up Comedian from the Playboy Club, he got the idea of "being out of your head".
He preferred chemicals. All kinds, mixed up together. That includes prescription meds. I don't know their names. Tuinal might be one, or it could have been 2-in-all. Either way, it was Cocaine and Heroin mixed together.
Cocaine was in use. Peyote. Lsd. Mr Hubbard preferred Amphetamines, such as Dexedrine and Benzedrine.
I suggest that you read "Nibs" ( L Ron, Jr.) story of his Father's drug use. He was the closest to it. Also reports by others on the substances that Hub kept
in his quarters.
I am reluctant to discuss any one's drug use. It is a Moral Code,( like the WTH is a moral code), that you do not reveal any one'd drug use. Divulging that would have gotten you killed in the 50s. I've struggled with the "Drug Moral Code" as opposed to scientology's moral code thruout my 33 years in and out of cos.
Thank you Jesus that I am out, and I don't have that conflict any longer.

chlng

Part of the interest is due to the "white-washing" of LRH's life by Corporate Scientology, and the "dead-agenting" of the few who HAVE mentioned it publically (Nibs, Hana Eltringham, Kima Douglas, etc). Also, it is now "politically correct" to have a War on Drugs, but it was not like that at all in the '50's and 60's. In fact, the "Counter-Culture" (Beats, Flower Children, Hippies, etc) was to a large degree fueled by drug experimentation. I recall the outcry and backlash when Paul McCartney copped to smoking pot.....oh the angst! So your stories from this time period are enlightening and help fill the gap of missing information from this period of time.

Thanks again!

 

[Div6]

Geraldine? Do you mean Flip Wilson?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0SLifea3NHQ

Did you do the "original" OT levels? Nots? OT VIII?

If you had to do it over, would you?