A devil's child no more...

[Lurker5]

Exactly FoTi

Exactly - maybe not an ex at all, just some indie film maker who wants people to click on and view his weird, dark, creepy little production.

Hey, LinB - are you still here? Speak for yourself.

 

[lifeinblue]

before this gets out of hand...

I have just PM'ed Lurker5 with the name of the book I alluded to.

There is a very good reason why I was so vague about my recent experience and I did my very best to explain it in my second post.

Lurker5's recent posts are disturbing beyond measure (not lurker5, just the posts he/she made) and could not be further from the message I intended to convey at the outset.

That message is simply that if you are experiencing pain and suffering from your experiences within the cult of scientology that there is a way to alleviate the pain for good. Completely.

Lurker5 has enough info to explain it to you all if he/she so decides. It is up to him/her.

But i stand by my reason for not giving much away. That is all detailed in the second post I made.

Unfortunately I am about to go away on a long project that will limit my ability to post here very often.

So with that I wish you all the best on your respective journeys.

And I apologize to those I have frustrated.

Feel free to PM me if you wish and I will try and answer your questions when I can.

All my love,

blue

 

[lifeinblue]

I truly hope that is not you. Clear it up, if it is not. What are you hinting at? You leave it up to us, and THIS is what we find . . .

I have PM'ed you.

With respect, it is not what "we" found.

It is what "you" found.

 

[skollie]

I have just PM'ed Lurker5 with the name of the book I alluded to.

There is a very good reason why I was so vague about my recent experience and I did my very best to explain it in my second post.

Lurker5's recent posts are disturbing beyond measure (not lurker5, just the posts he/she made) and could not be further from the message I intended to convey out the outset.

That message is simply that if you are experiencing pain and suffering from your experiences within the cult of scientology that there is a way to alleviate the pain for good. Completely.

Lurker5 has enough info to explain it to you all if he/she so decides. It is up to him/her.

But i stand by my reason for not giving much away. That is all detailed in the second post I made.

Unfortunately I am about to go away on a long project that will limit my ability to post here very often.

So with that I wish you all the best on your respective journeys.

And I apologize to those I have frustrated.

Feel free to PM me if you wish and I will try and answer your questions when I can.

All my love,

blue

Take care blue

 

[FoTi]

I have just PM'ed Lurker5 with the name of the book I alluded to.

There is a very good reason why I was so vague about my recent experience and I did my very best to explain it in my second post.

Lurker5's recent posts are disturbing beyond measure (not lurker5, just the posts he/she made) and could not be further from the message I intended to convey out the outset.

That message is simply that if you are experiencing pain and suffering from your experiences within the cult of scientology that there is a way to alleviate the pain for good. Completely.

Lurker5 has enough info to explain it to you all if he/she so decides. It is up to him/her.

But i stand by my reason for not giving much away. That is all detailed in the second post I made.

Unfortunately I am about to go away on a long project that will limit my ability to post here very often.

So with that I wish you all the best on your respective journeys.

And I apologize to those I have frustrated.

Feel free to PM me if you wish and I will try and answer your questions when I can.

All my love,

blue

I thought you said there wasn't really any book.

So why are you telling Lurker5 the name of the book and you won't tell the rest of us?

Why are you leaving it up to Lurker 5 to tell us your info....why don't you tell us yourself? You are being weird.

 

[lifeinblue]

I've PM'ed you too.

I thought you said there wasn't really any book.

So why are you telling Lurker5 the name of the book and you won't tell the rest of us?

Why are you leaving it up to Lurker 5 to tell us your info....why don't you tell us yourself? You are being weird.

It is interesting that both you and Lurker5 have had such negative reactions to my posts.

Hopefully my PM to you will help.

And in the interests of balancing out the sick and twisted video that lurker5 managed to drag out maybe you might like something a little lighter.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SPUJIbXN0WY

Take care.

 

[FoTi]

It is interesting that both you and Lurker5 have had such negative reactions to my posts.

Hopefully my PM to you will help.

And in the interests of balancing out the sick and twisted video that lurker5 managed to drag out maybe you might like something a little lighter.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SPUJIbXN0WY

Take care.

I got your PM. And I don't appreciate your taking me, Lurker5 and maybe a few other people here on ESMB on some kind of wild goose chase, trying to find out what you were talking about....and just messing with the people here.

Well, folks, he said he didn't read this book that he spoke of in his post and PMed me the title of. It was all a hoax. These kind of games piss me off. I don't believe his friggin' story either.

I come on here at ESMB to learn from others and to post myself - not to be jerked around by some yoyo.

If it got out of hand, Blue, you set it up that way.

 

[Mockingbird6]

FoTi,
Wow, this is not like my dear FoTi to get so angry! I am sitting here amazed.

Other stuff is going on in my life right now too, so I'm kind of removed from this thread right now, a bit exterior from it, you know.

Anyway, hope this all works out okay for you FoTi. X's andO's M6

 

[lifeinblue]

I got your PM. And I don't appreciate your taking me, Lurker5 and maybe a few other people here on ESMB on some kind of wild goose chase, trying to find out what you were talking about....and just messing with the people here.

Well, folks, he said he didn't read this book that he spoke of in his post and PMed me the title of. It was all a hoax. These kind of games piss me off. I don't believe his friggin' story either.

I come on here at ESMB to learn from others and to post myself - not to be jerked around by some yoyo.

If it got out of hand, Blue, you set it up that way.

Thank you.

I am not taking anyone on any wild goose chase.

As i said in my PM to you I am simply trying to light a spark in anyone out there who is hurting so that they might go out and find the answers they are looking for. I found them. I know they exist. I thought perhaps by sharing a part of my story that this might give you the certainty and knowledge that things will be okay.

Again, I have been vague about my experience for a very specific reason. I did my best to explain this in my second post. Please read it if you can.

The clues I gave are this.

The man who started what has now become mine and many other's salvation was a simple man. A tailor in fact.

There is a book about what I have experienced. It is not written by the tailor I have just mentioned.

Those are the two clues to my own personal journey should you wish to find out what that was. I am not sitting here telling you a riddle that you must solve. It is up to you if you want to engage in this journey. And I will help if I can. You are all free to PM me.

I never said I read any book. I simply said there is a book about this. No book can give you your life back. And this book of which I am referring is one that I have not read. I don't need to, nor do you, but it may help you get where you want to in the end though, which is why I mentioned it.

It is no hoax and I am not trying to play a game. I am trying to help in the best way I can.

I am truly sorry for the way you have reacted to my posts.

As I said in my PM to you I am here. If you want to get in touch.

To anyone reading this last post and wondering WTF this is all about please, please, please read my OP and the second post I made which is on page 3. Both are long.

Both are worth your time.

I truly believe that.

Peace and Love,

Blue

 

[SchwimmelPuckel]

And what to learn from this.. That the use of 'mystery sandwich' is risky!

Hubbard loved that BTW.. 'Excalibur' comes to mind..

Hmm.. And the reasoning for buying the 'stop smoking' book yourself... There is truth in that.. It is given as the reasoning for the exorbitant prices for Scientology services as well.. I can't recall where.. Some HCOPL.. So I think, while there is truth in it, there is also a damned lie there.

 

[JohnnyRUClear]

Well...

I'm not an ex, and I just happened to read this thread from a cross-posting on WWP. So, with that in mind, I just wanted to say that FWIW I didn't find LiB's postings disturbing, and am a bit nonplussed at the level of consternation they caused. Is every tease an irresistible come-on? I don't feel compelled to run after the hints dropped. The commentary accompanying them here was enough for me. But, maybe that's just me.

I've been misunderstood online, and it isn't fun. What starts as a light-hearted, tongue-in-cheek bit of rascality can turn into what feels like a lynch mob scene. I suggest everyone take a few breaths and if you still have a question for LiB, just ask it, minus the melodrama.

Having said that, I hope I'm not off-base, now. I shall scram back to WWP where I belong.

 

[lifeinblue]

Thank you JouhnnyRuclear...

On that note I am asking Emma and the mods out there to close this thread.

There is nothing else I can add to express what I had intended to in the first place.

Please feel free to PM if you wish to know more, have a question or just want to tell me where to stick it.

I don't think further comments here are going to be of any help to anyone.

The original post and what I have said since is all I can say.

I could be wrong but that is how I feel.

Peace.

 

[Kookaburra]

On that note I am asking Emma and the mods out there to close this thread.

There is nothing else I can add to express what I had intended to in the first place.

Please feel free to PM if you wish to know more, have a question or just want to tell me where to stick it.

I don't think further comments here are going to be of any help to anyone.

The original post and what I have said since is all I can say.

I could be wrong but that is how I feel.

Peace.

Thank-you Life in Blue.

For what it's worth, I think your posts show quite clearly your message. Anyone who doesn't understand needs to go back and re-read them with an open mind and an open heart.

Take care on your journey.

 

[Mockingbird6]

Life in Blue, you can ask Emma to close a thread but you may still find it goes on for several hundred posts after you're done, and the subject at the end has nothing to do with the subject you started. Kind of like life...

 

[skollie]

Thank-you Life in Blue.

For what it's worth, I think your posts show quite clearly your message. Anyone who doesn't understand needs to go back and re-read them with an open mind and an open heart.

Take care on your journey.

 

[FoTi]

FoTi,
Wow, this is not like my dear FoTi to get so angry! I am sitting here amazed.

Other stuff is going on in my life right now too, so I'm kind of removed from this thread right now, a bit exterior from it, you know.

Anyway, hope this all works out okay for you FoTi. X's andO's M6

Hi M6. Blue PMed me and told me to PM John Peeler to verify who Blue is. I told him/her if he/she wanted to prove him/herself to me, he/she could have John Peeler PM me. Blue then changed his/her tune and told me he/she wasn't going to do that, but that I could call him/her (Blue) in another country. Hell if I will do that. :no

Yeh, I got ticked off. I do not trust whoever Blue is.

 

[Arthur Dent]

Hello Blue,
Your post was very moving. I have been unnerved by the "brown shirt" mentality forced on the born-into it youth in scientology. I find it one of its absolute frightening aspects. What it has led to is unthinkable and what it could lead to may be unspeakable.

Your story gives me both pause and hope. I am jubilant that you were able to extract yourself from that mentality and have your feet on the ground enough to know what "real" is and what "heart" is, things that are so suppressed or absent in those ranks.

Kudos to your Dad for his compassion. It clearly rubbed off. Congratulations to you both!

 

[lifeinblue]

Hi M6. Blue PMed me and told me to PM John Peeler to verify who Blue is. I told him/her if he/she wanted to prove him/herself to me, he/she could have John Peeler PM me. Blue then changed his/her tune and told me he/she wasn't going to do that, but that I could call him/her (Blue) in another country. Hell if I will do that. :no

Yeh, I got ticked off. I do not trust whoever Blue is.

I find it interesting that my story very clearly describes me being born as a boy and there is no hint of a sex change and yet FoTi feels the need to refer to me as he/she and him/her.

FoTi. Did you actually read my post or just skip to the end? And did you read my reply on page three in full?

For the benefit of others here is the PM conversation we had. Compare it to FoTi's recollection of it above.

Originally Posted by FoTi
So what's the name of the book?

My reply:
(I told FoTi the name of the book and the author but am deleting it here for the benefit of others). I never read it myself but apparently it does detail what you can achieve with the process I went through.

I am not trying to play games with anyone here, though I realize that is what you now think.

I would ask that you read both my posts in full again and then research the above book and all it discusses before you pass this onto anyone else.

Put it this way. If someone had posted a message on this site saying "hey guys! I've found all the answers and it's in a book called (deleted)" I would have passed on it.

I was trying to light a spark in those that are hurting to begin their own search in the hopes that it would lead them to go through the process that I have and with the knowledge and certainty that there is indeed an answer out there for us all.

If I explained it to you in detail on this message board it would fall on deaf ears. I know because I know what my response would have been three weeks ago.

Finding it for yourself really does make all the difference.

I truly believe that.

I wish you all the best,

Blue

(I won’t cut and paste FoTi’s next reply out of respect to her but essentially she was angry and told me that she had no respect for me)

My reply:
FoTi I am so so sorry that you are reacting the way you are to what I have put on this forum. I truly am.

You are hurting. I get that. I was hurting once too.

If you can calm yourself down and re read what I posted again I think it would help you.

Or if you want you can ring me.

I will happily give you my number if you wish and you can ring me from a blocked number yourself if it makes you feel safer.

I am trying to help. I really am.

all my love,

blue

FoTi’s reply was that she did not trust me.

My reply:
I just thought of something that might help a little here. I take it from your quote that you either know or at least trust John Peeler.

Perhaps you could PM him and ask him who I am.

Her reply was to get him to PM her, as she stated above.

My reply:
You know. I think even if you got to the point where you knew exactly who I was and trusted me you would not listen to a word I said so perhaps it's best if we simply agree to disagree.

I am sorry if I evaluated for you, or invalidated you or any other hubbard'ism.

I mean you no harm whatsoever.

Everything you are experiencing right now is simply a pattern of behavior that is not you. I wish you could see that.

And I am truly sorry you do not.

I hope the rest of your days are good ones.

Again her reply was that I was a phoney and I was messing her about.


My reply:
I hear you.

I shall say no more.

Good luck.

I find it very interesting that FoTi now knows the name of the book that describes what I went through and as such needs no further clues to finding her own path to what I have gained. She need only google the title and author, read a bit about it all and go from there. And yet... and yet she would rather battle with me about semantics in a PM and prove herself right on this forum.

If FoTi knocked on my front door right now I would happily let her rant and rave until she got it out of her system. I would then invite her in for a cup of tea or coffee and we could sit down and talk. I am sure if she was willing to have the conversation that she would be fine. But I cannot see how she will ever get to that point. She has convinced herself that I am the devil's child and yet the title of my post is a devil's child no more. Have I written so poorly as to convey the exact opposite of my intended message?

What is going on with FoTi here is exactly what went on with me for many years. In fact I had a similar back and forth with exstaffWPB not that long ago. I do understand where she is coming from but I really have no idea what else I can do to reassure her. And I know she is a good person, a wonderful person even, who would not wish any ill will on anyone. Except me perhaps.

My offer still stands to both her and anyone else who wants to get in touch.

I am running out of time to be able to post here and I would very much like to resolve this with her if I can. Come Monday I may not be able to post at all.

Any suggestions?

 

[lifeinblue]

Life in Blue, you can ask Emma to close a thread but you may still find it goes on for several hundred posts after you're done, and the subject at the end has nothing to do with the subject you started. Kind of like life...

You are wise beyond words M6.

Thank you.

 

[Cherished]

lifeinblue,

I've enjoyed your posts very much.

All the best until you post again.