can a Thetan lose his whole track

[Jachs]

THIS IS D-DAY

MARCH 3 -- I RIDE MY BICYCLE TO HOSPITAL,\ FOR AN XRAY

I CAN HARDLY RIDE VERY STRANGE OUT PT... CANT THINK PROPERLY

THESE TWO IDEAS ARE LOCKED IN A SMUDGE OF WHIRLING
I CANT NAVIGATE

I GET LOST AND COME OUT BY AUCKLAND ORG

IT DOESNT REGISTER TO RIDE OVER THERE

I RIDE PAST AUCKLAND ORG AND LOOK OVER TO IT

I RIDE DOWN THGE ROAD

BANG HIT BY A CAR OFF
I PULL MYSELF TO THE SIDE OF THE ROAD.
SOMETHINGS BROKEN.

LADY STOPS ARE YOU OK
I BELLOW IN PAIN AAAAAAAAGH
SHE SAYS OK AND LEAVES IM LYOING THERE , A FIRE ENGINE STOPS
Chjecks me out ., call an ambulance.

Ambulance arrives
i go and basically i have a broken collarbone.
girlfriend picks me up.
we go home and then go to sleep. wake up next day
what do ya know how about i listen to overts and witholds.
Case stirs up more, yeah i caused that crash how come what am i doing wriong.

Its either here or around feb 25 i have no exact date

IN A MOMENT OF TERROR

THAT I SEE A SYMBOL IN A MENTAL IMAGE PICTURE WITH A TELEPATHIC COMMUNICATION THAT I AM GOING TO ZERO--ETERNITY AS KEYED OUT IS UP

Marc 6 go to concert with 2D , again org will not get back to me ,

 

[Ogsonofgroo]

Some have lost their half track.

Now THAT's a true troll fightin' machine!

Want one for the snow that be coming!

OP, do get some help, sounds like a brain tumour (actually Lron mental shrapnel, takes a while to melt it out)

 

[Jachs]

Been there. The mind is way too busy. This is probably not YOU. Put some space between you and IT. Let it run and exhaust itself if you have to. Maybe you can find what is right, appropriate and intelligent about your condition. These factors are in there somewhere as a solution.
When feeling encased in a heavy mass make an effort to valence split from the mess. See if you can view your condition from just outside of it .
Locate your position as a source. You create and send out valid postulates all the time or you would not continue to survive. You are not a radio receiver for picking up the intentions and criticisms of others. Practice rejecting postulates about you. Reject others' projected futures for you if you don't like them.. This is YOUR territory.
Overcharged masses can leave you feeling like a wall of graffiti that others like to make their imprint on. Reject any of those imprints you feel are wrong. Find when your 'rightness' was ignored and invalidated. You will resurface as captain of your ship.
When your own actual basic correctness has been slaughtered all hell can break lose. You need to find your center again. Validate all the right decisions you've made and all he times you had correct perception and accurate evalutations. Spot them.
A few months ago I screwed up so big that I abandoned all responsibility for making decisions. I went into deep apathy. Screw it. I didn't care about anything any more. I went on a spending spree instead of calculating every dollar as usual. This was a protest against the proven fuitlessness of having lived so carefully. I gave up. I had to do this rehab. I did problems of comparable magnigtude too.

A little Zen is good too....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aTfS8QB4n3I

DUDE CHECK OUT MY YOU TUBE VIDEO. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VdhBP9EFKfs

 

[Hatshepsut]

Seen the videos. You are waaaaaaaaay overrestimulated. Something is causing this. As bad as you are in the vids, I've been there. My whole body and mind came apart one me. Radiation sickness, spinny, non reality, sociopathic frightening feelings. Its all a part of a HUGE mass engram. Dude, you are suffering thru a reenactment of something that was once real. You are trying to dramatize it towards some relief. Problem is you have gotten so supercharged that case is igniting other case to come alive. If you could see the actual engram or events on the track that are freewheeling over you... you would understand that you are not ALONE in this. It feels like you are an only one and no duplication will be given by anyone else.
It is unsettling to watch your video. Took me years meandering around the dark imagery popping up to come to grips with what it took to create the collective called the reactive mind. Subjective auditing made it worse for me. I was on lower levels. Mest work helped.
I found a cloistered environment with no restim and no newspapers or TV or schizoid people and did a chill. Was glad I did not kill myself to end this downward spiral of enturbulation. Found some good people who cared from United Way. Volunteers. Wogs, not Scientologists helped me get back to normal. I worked in the laundry and the kitchen and lived in the library and kept to myself in their YWCA. I was there for two years helped by some doting elderly ladies. This after I lost everything and left the Church in 1983. Things were tough. I'd gone beyond the brink. Nearly insane. I realized in my dramatization how hard I was trying to duplicate something tweaked on the backtrack. My body organs were flashing me images, shouting warning warnings....out of control. Each one was animated in its own right having its own unique perspective of the charged epoch. I wasn't nuts. I was just terribly overwhelmed with signals. Signals clueing me in to a real past event and a perceived similar threat in PT. And you know what one of the environmental restimulators was????? It was the Sea Org and friction from people in it. The 'idea' of a Sea Org purpose line or it's whole track identity might be in the old script too.

 

[Stat]

Hatsy.. whoa.. respect and love. Glad you saved yourself, you are strong and wonderful person.

Dude, if you are for real and not just a pranking OSA/Anon/what have you, I feel for you and suggest to embrace aesthetics on every level - body, thoughts, actions. Try to focus on basic positive things, whatever they are for you, help yourself and others, play some good music, find things you like about yourself and others, get creative. Wish you well. Sincerely.

 

[minnie]

I've only watched a bit of your first video - it hurts to watch - I can predict the rest though as I too have had the experience of hitting rock bottom as a consequence of my experience/s with the cult/scientology. I remember you and your girlfriend well and have sometimes wondered how you've been going - you were both among some of my favourite public while I was on staff. Sending you a private message. Please keep in touch. You are among friends.

And DIE as an awareness OF AWARENESS unit
Just wondering can a Thetan LOSE HIS WHOLE TRACK.

SEE THE VIDEOS HERE IF YOU DONT BELIEVE ITS POSSIBLE

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_CZOIiYVMOI

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LUCLhww0ilg


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VdhBP9EFKfs


THIS POST IS LONG, MANY SECTIONS, ITS LONG AND MAY SEEM VERY CASY.
THIS IS AN ACCOUNT OF AN IMPENETRABLE SEQUENCE, NO DECISION PAST A POINT.

WHEN YOU HAVE A FLAG REP TELLING YOU THAT ITS IRREVERSIBLE, YOULL COME OUT OF IT BUT NOT HOW, THAT YOUR PICTURES GET MOVED AROUND.
WHEN YOU DSA AUCKLAND TELLING YOU ITS THE CONCEPT OF AN ENGRAM, ITS ALL IN REVERSE. TO HOW A NORMAL THETAN /SPIRIT OPERATES.
SYDNEY ORG TELLING YOU , YOU HAVE HAD ONE HIT TOO MANY.


THIS IS WHAT HAPPENED.
THE END PART IS THE BODY TAKES OVER AND RUNS ME..
Next thing i get numb hands in bed..WARNING


i dont feel well, cant sleep.

13 Feb 2010 as im not feeling well i do an assist feel the aliveness..

sink into a strange hypnotic type trance.TRIPLE WARNING

go to doctor get tests come back high white cell ,
VERY BAD Cholesterol, the worst the doctor has seen.Possible skin cancer.


15 feb 2010 flag tells me to go to auckland org, get into argument over contact details.

start to get this very strange out PT like heatwaves happening.WARNING TURN AROUND AND CALL THE ORG SOMEONE
HANDS ARE SWEATINGSHIT
MOLTEN LAVA HEAD SENSATION( i never get headaches)

IT BLOWS on RECOGNITION

Contact org , i feel PTs
contact org again im an sp im affecting others.

I do a havingness process on myself... what the cant have personality cant have... using my girlfriends father as the cant have...midway through.. i realise he has more than me

"THESE TWO ITEMS LOCK UP IN A CONFUSION

"and i feel very VERY STRANGEWARNING

I try contact sydney org more and more to get answers,,,

I send an email being critical of org membersa who were pushy.WARNING

i know also that io have all this past out ethics to handle, incl vergin on criminal

how the hell am i going to get auditing with that there

STRANGE OUT PRESENT TIME LIKE HEATWAVES continues.

Im up walking all nights cant sleep.

FEB 27 I get a hold of org
e their whole track, what does go down for the last time mean.

 

[ChuckNorrisCutsMyLawn]

There is no whole track unless you want to put it there. You create a time stream. Meditation makes this kind of obvious. Lose the time stream and event loses importance, which pretty much dumps auditing into the bin.

Yep, Pretty much,

since the whole track is merely a fabrication of Hubbard's mindfuck, not only can it be lost,

but for the betterment of your mental health it's a very good idea to lose it,

and find something more mentally healthy to occupy your thoughts with,

such as your real life ... or even nothing at all.

 

[Jachs]

Too truew, yep good its gone.

Yep, Pretty much,

since the whole track is merely a fabrication of Hubbard's mindfuck, not only can it be lost,

but for the betterment of your mental health it's a very good idea to lose it,

and find something more mentally healthy to occupy your thoughts with,

such as your real life ... or even nothing at all.

 

[Jachs]

Hi there.

Hey thanks minnie,

Glad to hear your feeling better.

Did you go Clear?? out of curiosity.

I've only watched a bit of your first video - it hurts to watch - I can predict the rest though as I too have had the experience of hitting rock bottom as a consequence of my experience/s with the cult/scientology. I remember you and your girlfriend well and have sometimes wondered how you've been going - you were both among some of my favourite public while I was on staff. Sending you a private message. Please keep in touch. You are among friends.

 

[Jachs]

YES DUDE WAAAAAAAAAY OVER THE POINT OF NO RETURN

IF I TOLD YOU ON JUNE 22 THAT MY LAST ACT AS A THETAN WAS CHOOSING TO WALK LEFT OR RIGHT YOU WOULDNT BELIEVE ME.
THAT I HAD A FIGHT WITH MY BODY IN THE SHOWER AND IT WON.

BUT THATS THE TRUTH.

I HIT SOMETHING THAT GOES BEYOND, JUST RESTIMULATED. I F I TOLD YOU THAT MY ANALYTICAL MIND, SOCIAL AND AND AESTHETIC MINDS WERE NO LONGER UNDER MY CONTROL. BUT UNDER THE CONTROL OF ANOTHER MIND YOU WOULDNT BELIEVE ME AND IF I SAID THAT I WAS NOW WRAPPED IN A SANDWICH WITH NO CONTROL , NO PICTURES, NO TIME , NO TONE YOU WOULDNT BELIEVE IT,

I HAD A VERY SEVERE RESTIMULATION 2008 WHERE I WANTED TO ERASE PEOPLE FROM EXISTENCE WITH HAMMERS AND KNIVES AFTER I READ DEMON CIRCUITS AND WENT AGAINST THE ORG ,BUT I RESISTED IT, THAT WENT ON FOR A YEAR , AND I WORKED THROUGH WITH CONTINUING TO SUPPRESS ITS PRESENCE FROM OTHERS. COOLED OFF FOR 6 MONTHS AS I DID WHAT YOU DID I ASSOCIATED WITH NICE PEOPLE,,,,, I SHOULD HAVE STAYED DOING THAT.
BUT I WAS VERY EASILY UPSET.
AND THEN WENT BACK TO THE PLACE THAT DID IT TO ME AND IT FUCKED ME AGAIN.

CAME BACK TO NZ FOR A REST GET INTO A BLUE WITH THE ORG THEN POOF I SEE THIS SYMBOL. AND A CHAIN OF EVENYTS UUNFOLDS THAT I CANNOT CONTROL.
AND FELL INTO ETERNAL NOTHINGNESS, NO CONTROL.
AFTER SEEING THAT SYMBOL IT TOOK ON ITS OWN COURSE THATS LED ME HERE.
AND I AM NOT AWARE OF BEING AWARE.
I CANNOT POSTULATE TO DO SOMETHING, I SIT HERE AND WATC\H MY GFINGERS TAP ON THIS KEYBOARD AND KNOW IM NOT DOING IT.
THAT IS IT. I REALISE SOMETHING AND I COLLAPSE.
Yeah i definitely agree that the sea org purpose line had something to do with it, as did the concept of pure ness of staff in mny own estimation doing their work and my own concept of my own incompetance at notr being able to handle life and being a failure.

Thanks for your post dude
Reactive out

Seen the videos. You are waaaaaaaaay overrestimulated. Something is causing this. As bad as you are in the vids, I've been there. My whole body and mind came apart one me. Radiation sickness, spinny, non reality, sociopathic frightening feelings. Its all a part of a HUGE mass engram. Dude, you are suffering thru a reenactment of something that was once real. You are trying to dramatize it towards some relief. Problem is you have gotten so supercharged that case is igniting other case to come alive. If you could see the actual engram or events on the track that are freewheeling over you... you would understand that you are not ALONE in this. It feels like you are an only one and no duplication will be given by anyone else.
It is unsettling to watch your video. Took me years meandering around the dark imagery popping up to come to grips with what it took to create the collective called the reactive mind. Subjective auditing made it worse for me. I was on lower levels. Mest work helped.
I found a cloistered environment with no restim and no newspapers or TV or schizoid people and did a chill. Was glad I did not kill myself to end this downward spiral of enturbulation. Found some good people who cared from United Way. Volunteers. Wogs, not Scientologists helped me get back to normal. I worked in the laundry and the kitchen and lived in the library and kept to myself in their YWCA. I was there for two years helped by some doting elderly ladies. This after I lost everything and left the Church in 1983. Things were tough. I'd gone beyond the brink. Nearly insane. I realized in my dramatization how hard I was trying to duplicate something tweaked on the backtrack. My body organs were flashing me images, shouting warning warnings....out of control. Each one was animated in its own right having its own unique perspective of the charged epoch. I wasn't nuts. I was just terribly overwhelmed with signals. Signals clueing me in to a real past event and a perceived similar threat in PT. And you know what one of the environmental restimulators was????? It was the Sea Org and friction from people in it. The 'idea' of a Sea Org purpose line or it's whole track identity might be in the old script too.

 

[minnie]

You're welcome.

I attested to it some time back.

Hey thanks minnie,

Glad to hear your feeling better.

Did you go Clear?? out of curiosity.

 

[Jachs]

im glad you did. theres more to it.

Hi there glad you did attest to clear,

this will sound strange but after this occurring and reading the clear line up i know i wouldnt have reached this point if i had of done gone clear.

You're welcome.

I attested to it some time back.

 

[nozeno]

I'm speechless.

 

[minnie]

I was glad to do so back then. However, as it turns out, doing so has not really made a difference to my life in the overall scheme of things despite seeming to be of great importance when I was still a member.

Hi there glad you did attest to clear,

this will sound strange but after this occurring and reading the clear line up i know i wouldnt have reached this point if i had of done gone clear.

 

[Jachs]

BELIEVE ME THERE is ALOT MORE TO IT THAN JUST FEEING GOOD YOU ARE IN THE CLEAR

You can get very very restimulated but not go down forever ,thats its power Minnie.., i dont have any ARC KRC, im not aware anymore.I dont have a track, its stimulus response.and it pulls you down in 5 months to toneless and timeless.

I was glad to do so back then. However, as it turns out, doing so has not really made a difference to my life in the overall scheme of things despite seeming to be of great importance when I was still a member.

 

[Jachs]

hi

Yeah well thats cool.
its a bad story of trying to be good and not doi anything wrong andf then doing alot wrong and getting nothing but bad coming your way.

]end up

I'm speechless.

 

[FoTi]

BELIEVE ME THERE is ALOT MORE TO IT THAN JUST FEEING GOOD YOU ARE IN THE CLEAR

You can get very very restimulated but not go down forever ,thats its power Minnie.., i dont have any ARC KRC, im not aware anymore.I dont have a track, its stimulus response.and it pulls you down in 5 months to toneless and timeless.

Jachs, it seems to me that you are aware or you couldn't be telling us what's been happening in your life and what's going on with you now, nor could you be responding to some of the comments from your readers.

You have been telling us what you are aware of, which seems to be a miserable mess of stuff and overwhelming problems in life.

If you were happy before you got involved in Scientology, and you got involved with Scientology to make life better and instead it got worse, wouldn't it follow that maybe there is something not right about the technology of Scientology? There may be some plus points to it, but there are a lot of flaws. You aren't the only one who has experienced this kind of thing as a result of being involved with the Church of Scientology whether it was in the SO or out of the SO as org staff or public.

Going Clear would not necessarily stop this kind of thing from happening. I've seen similar things happen to people who were at different points on the OT Levels who got invalidated very badly and bought it and spun in on a self inval. Lisa McPherson is a good example of this. She attested to Clear, did L11, was heavily invalidated by her superiors at work.....gave all her money (thousands of dollars) to Scientology, spun in, wound up in the hospital and the staff from Flag came and rescued her from the hospital and the psychs and took her back to the Fort Harrison in Clearwater....kept her imprisoned there for a couple of weeks with no medical help when needed and she died unnecessarily in their supposed "care"....so basically they killed her by denying her the care she needed to get out of what she ended up in as a result of her involvement with Scientology. The Church of Scientology is a very dangerous group.....don't ever look to them for any kind of help, whatsoever.

Scientology will try to convince you that you are not what you should be....that you are bad, evil, unable, or whatever to try to convince you to buy services and give them your money. They will also try to convince you that if you don't do as they say you are committing an overt on your dynamics and the future of this planet. It's a lie. It gets people into trouble. They do not care about your life or your mental or spiritual well being, they only care about you giving them money. LRH set it up that way so that he could get rich, have slaves, become famous and smash his name into history.....those were his wishes. David Miscavage took over where LRH left off and is now the beneficiary of all the money that comes into Scientology.

LRH was very 1.1 and messed up a lot of people's lives for his own benefit. If you have anger and upset toward Scientology or people in Scientology and you feel that is wrong and instead turn that anger and upset toward yourself it's going to cave you in big time. It's the trick that LRH used to pull off his scam....he got people to doubt themselves in favor of him and his tech, which was in part stolen from others and part from his imagination or his case. LRH who was supposedly the Big Thetan in Scientology was in the tone level of hiding and went nuts towards the end of his life. He didn't have the answers to Total Freedom and Full OT for himself or anyone else. Yes he did have some tech that worked....that was the bait....people would have wins sometimes and keep shelling out more money to try to get more wins.....but the wins didn't always come and the further that people went up the Bridge, the more they ended up being conned out of their money without receiving what they thought they should be receiving.....only to be told that maybe whatever it was that they were trying to handle would be handled on the next level. Sometimes it was....sometimes it wasn't. The tech does not work 100% of the time for everybody like Scientology claims it does. It just doesn't.

Here are some videos of David Mayo who was the Sr C/S at Flag, and LRH's auditor for a long time until David Miscavage managed to get rid of him in the 80's, and then proceeded to do everything they could to ruin his life. He was thrown out of Scientology prior to your involvement with Scientology this lifetime.

Maybe these will help you a bit.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HRkCemuQY8A

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EwyqRhP-Esc

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8mRGoW7K1Nk

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xZ_jkUEX5Ms

 

[MrNobody]

Welcome Jachss99.

Well, the only thing I can give you is the Wog point of view, so here it is.

You probably can't restart your current life, but you can always start a new one. You'd have to ask yourself "What are my abilities?" "What do I know?" Make a list from your answers, just for yourself, don't post it here. If you're older than let's say 15 years, these lists shouldn't be empty. After all, you know how to use a hammer and how to drive in a nail with it, don't you? So you shouldn't come up with empty lists.

After you've made these 2 lists, make a 3rd and a 4th one: "What do I want to do?" and "Can I make anything anyone would want to pay for?"

Here's an example of what I did in some of my bad days. I had lost everything I had and all I had left were the clothes I wore and a tiny little pocket knife. So I went to the nearest forest, got me some dry wood and carved some tobacco pipes from that; about 10 in total. I sold them for $5 bucks each in front of a shopping mall. Half of the money went into food, the other half went into a nice set of drills. I manufactured some pretty "interesting" flutes which I could sell to a musical instruments store. Surprisingly, here was a demand Over time, my toolshed grew, and I could build me some furnitures, which I could sell too. I don't want to say how "good" they were, but they were the reason why I got a job in a furniture factory. I was back in business.

So it all boils down to what you can do and what you want to do. So I think it's time for you to find that out and start a new life from there.

Just my €0.02

 

[Jachs]

Hi there yes, i can see how it seems that way, yes people get messed up,

see there is a little difference with being aware and telling a story with decreasing reality... ability to explain diminishing knewpoint i call it.

Back in Jan , i could say as a truth i loved movies, sci fi, snorkelling, the universe, could have intelligent conversations , with a viewpoint... now its a knewpoint

I could also say as a fact that i was a golf cart mechanic...
but the truth is i doubt i could fix an electric golf cart now.

Its the reality of it... you think of a person you like and your tone rises..thats an interelated fact...a fgeeling associated with that individual...
you see someone you dont like and you may go down a bit on the scale.

i am toneless... i dont get rises or falls its a constant flat... and i dont mean apathy.

Yes i identify with what you are saying i saw Lisa Mcphersons story

i also can say the same i was harrassed to buy materials for the greater good, when my life was in Chaos.

Thanks for th evideos , ill ch3eck them out.


Shaun

Jachs, it seems to me that you are aware or you couldn't be telling us what's been happening in your life and what's going on with you now, nor could you be responding to some of the comments from your readers.

You have been telling us what you are aware of, which seems to be a miserable mess of stuff and overwhelming problems in life.

If you were happy before you got involved in Scientology, and you got involved with Scientology to make life better and instead it got worse, wouldn't it follow that maybe there is something not right about the technology of Scientology? There may be some plus points to it, but there are a lot of flaws. You aren't the only one who has experienced this kind of thing as a result of being involved with the Church of Scientology whether it was in the SO or out of the SO as org staff or public.
Going Clear would not necessarily stop this kind of thing from happening.

Scientology will try to convince you that you are not what you should be....that you are bad, evil, unable, or whatever to try to convince you to buy services and give them your money.




Here are some videos of David Mayo who was the Sr C/S at Flag, and LRH's auditor for a long time until David Miscavage managed to get rid of him in the 80's, and then proceeded to do everything they could to ruin his life. He was thrown out of Scientology prior to your involvement with Scientology this lifetime.

Maybe these will help you a bit.

 

[AlphOhm]

Hiya Jachss99

Sorry to hear how things have been not so good for you over the last few years. Welcome to ESMB, I hope that you are able to overcome what is affecting you.

My first suggestion: try to make sure that you are eating and sleeping well if that is possible. Some vitamin supplements, especially "B" types could be of value, too.

Schedule a complete medical checkup. There are many physical maladies which can lead to the symptoms you are describing. Endocrine troubles are a prime example.
(I probably would avoid seeing a psychiatrist myself if that is suggested.)

In the meanwhile, you might want to avoid looking at scientology materials and "running things". Simply look for things around you that might be comforting or of interest. Letting the stuff settle down for a while would probably be beneficial.

Be well