Coming out of the closet?

[Cat's Squirrel]

I dislike Facebook as a communications medium. Phone or face-to-face is better. You can get a better feel for how your communication is being received and tailor what you say accordingly. You also risk having your communication being relayed to OSA, who will give your whole family an ultimatum.

I'm not a Facebook user myself, but is that also true if you set your permissions to "Private" and unfriend anyone whom you don't want to see what you're updating your page with? I'd be interested to know.

 

[Enthetan]

I think the best way to put doubt in a cult family member is to live a happy and sucessful life away from Scn so they might realize it is at least possble without Scn.

By being an "under the radar out", you may provide a safe contact for any family members who are considering getting out. By not being publicly "out", they can still be in touch with you. By knowing that you are "privately out", they can feel safe in discussing doubts with you without fear that you will "write them up", and also be sure that if they leave, they will have at least one family member who will still talk to them.

 

[Enthetan]

I'm not a Facebook user myself, but is that also true if you set your permissions to "Private" and unfriend anyone whom you don't want to see what you're updating your page with? I'd be interested to know.

I'm not a Facebook user either. But I've seen people who let just about anybody be on their friends list. Also, just because you are "private", doesn't mean that somebody on your friends list won't repeat something you said to somebody NOT on your friend list.

 

[TheOriginalBigBlue]

Unless there is some urgent reason to escalate the matter or there is a clear opening to be constructively proactive it is best if they arrive at the decision to distance themselves from the organization/doctrine on their own. If you force their hand then it becomes about you. That might be the best thing, if they have to decide between you and the church - its a tough call. You can stay UTR and let the natural decline of public opinion take its toll. At some point you may all be able to have an outing party.

However, if it starts to look like your children are being exposed to indoctrination then you may have to make a stand.

Oh, and the church may send someone to call you on the carpet about the disconnect thing if it comes to that. Check out the video/recordings of Tommy Davis doing that here:

http://www.villagevoice.com/news/to...tly-recorded-discussing-disconnection-6694765

 

[Cat's Squirrel]

Unless there is some urgent reason to escalate the matter or there is a clear opening to be constructively proactive it is best if they arrive at the decision to distance themselves from the organization/doctrine on their own. If you force their hand then it becomes about you. That might be the best thing, if they have to decide between you and the church - its a tough call. You can stay UTR and let the natural decline of public opinion take its toll. At some point you may all be able to have an outing party.

However, if it starts to look like your children are being exposed to indoctrination then you may have to make a stand.

Oh, and the church may send someone to call you on the carpet about the disconnect thing if it comes to that. Check out the video/recordings of Tommy Davis doing that here:

http://www.villagevoice.com/news/to...tly-recorded-discussing-disconnection-6694765

Interesting piece, especially the bit where Tommy Davis defends the practice of disconnection;

"Anyway, I think I've sort of said my piece. I've read you the key policies, I've read you the one in terms of organizational suppressive acts...LRH puts it in historical precedence as it relates to groups, period, not just to Scientology. There's a reason groups do this, it's integral to their survival. Groups who don't do it get destroyed. And it's just been proven over and over and over again in Scientology's 58-year history...to whatever degree SP's scream about how horrible it is, bottom line, it is what works, it is what safeguards the church. And by virtue of the fact that people who are connected to suppressives do rollercoaster, cannot make gains, and are called potential sources of trouble, or sources of trouble for a reason, based on historical precedence, it isn't a policy that's going to change tomorrow, next week, next month, or ever."

 

[Udarnik]

I'm not a Facebook user myself, but is that also true if you set your permissions to "Private" and unfriend anyone whom you don't want to see what you're updating your page with? I'd be interested to know.

Facebook constantly fucks with their privacy policy. You can never be sure any given post seen by friends only isn't going to show up in someone else's feed. Someone who is friends with that friend and not you can receive posts from the mutual friend's wall: if your friend comments on your "private" post and they don't have any FB firewalls set up, their cult "friends" will see their post and by extension, see or guess at your original post.

Tracing privacy settings on FB is a lot like tracking the progression of STDs. Only one person not being safe can infect a whole lotta other folks.

And even if everyone is protected now, all it takes is one FB fuck up (accidental or accidental-on-purpose) or a change in FB policy to reveal stuff in the future.

If you assume that EVERYTHING you post on FB, including PMs, can be seen by the whole damn internet, you will always make the right decision.

 

[Knows]

I am ready.....I think I will start posting small things on FaceBook that I "question". I am financially independent and live in a different State. I can't live this lie anymore. I just cant do it!!


BeenLiedTo

Welcome Out Been Lied To. :dancer::dancer:

I think it helps to heal by not allowing Scientology to suppress you.

You can stay under the radar and Suppress Scientology. Get your "create" on.:wink2:

Create a cult recovery group in your area. I posted on Craigslist and found a few members that wanted to meet to discuss our recovering process.

EXSMB became a great "group" to vent to.

Best Board to let it rip!

Welcome Out and so happy to have you here. Tell your story but twist it up a bit to fuck with OSA.

( Oh yeah....I almost forgot ... FUCK YOU OSA)

 

[AngeloV]

Facebook constantly fucks with their privacy policy. You can never be sure any given post seen by friends only isn't going to show up in someone else's feed. Someone who is friends with that friend and not you can receive posts from the mutual friend's wall: if your friend comments on your "private" post and they don't have any FB firewalls set up, their cult "friends" will see their post and by extension, see or guess at your original post.

Tracing privacy settings on FB is a lot lick tracking the progression of STDs. Only one person not being safe can infect a whole lotta other folks.

And even if everyone is protected now, all it takes is one FB fuck up (accidental or accidental-on-purpose) or a change in FB policy to reveal stuff in the future.

If you assume that EVERYTHING you post on FB, including PMs, can be seen by the whole damn internet, you will always make the right decision.

Yes. I emphasized this to my kid when she started posting inflammatory rhetoric. If you wouldn't put it on the front page of a newspaper, don't put it on Facebook. It amazes me that people still think there is 'privacy' in social media and now in the 'cloud'.

 

[BeenLiedTo]

By the way, start sharing doubts on Facebook and expect mom and dad to cut you off on the quickness. It doesn't take much these days for those culties to start circling the wagons. Slow your roll and take your time. There is no sense of urgency here. There's no need to do anything "right now". That's a feeling that you're carrying from your Scientology days and this is a good time to learn to break yourself of it.

One of my fears is that if I sit and do nothing that they continue to get away with what they have been doing. If I'm quiet, then I'm allowing these crimes to persist. Is this Scio thinking? I'm still trying to separate that type of thought from normal thoughts. I look at people differently now. They are not their case anymore, but people. I'm trying....it is hard to have a paradigm shift this great overnight.

BeenLiedTo

 

[BeenLiedTo]

As for your family, if you're not active, not going to the org, doing services, etc. they probably know what the score is and just don't want to confront it. I went for years just telling "in" family that I was taking a break and would be back. Eventually it got to a point where they were pushing harder and I had to say, "no, I'm done." Eventually, some of my family got out, and apologized for trying to handle me.

I haven't gone in years, but I was wondering if they "knew" and were not confronting it.....thats a good point lol. My hope is that my mom gets out. Shes slowly killing herself with daily auditing thinking that there are BT's all over her......so many health problems now....UGH


BeenLiedTo

 

[BeenLiedTo]

You’ve already come a long way BeenLiedTo. Keep moving forward, your way, at your own pace. Do it with kindness, love and compassion (things totally missing in scientology). Do what truly empowers you. You, and only you, know what that is.

Do what’s best for you. Our “greatest friend” was not Hubbard, it is ourselves. Hope this helps, if perhaps only a little.

Thank you Glenda......your words made me feel a little stronger. I am so unsure of what to do and how to feel that I forget that I should just keep moving forward. Thank you


BeenLiedTo

 

[BeenLiedTo]

I think you need to ask yourself why you want to come out. Is it to tell the cult and world what you think of them? Is it to damage the cult? Is it to try to wake up your family? All the above?

I know it will make you feel better and that may be reason enough. Unless you have a really abused past from the cult or are a celebrity the damage you cause to them will be minimal. For the immediate future you will lose all hope of helping your family with the disconnection which will follow.

I have a lot more to lose than you and I have chosen to live a lie for the time being. I take solace in the saying" revenge is a dish best served cold"

I think the best way to put doubt in a cult family member is to live a happy and sucessful life away from Scn so they might realize it is at least possble without Scn.

My two.

I do have a lot to lose, you may know who I am....or at least you know my family...almost everyone does. I want my family out of the cult, I want to damage the cult, and to tell the world that they are a farce....a lie...fake....and to prevent others from falling into the trap that is Scientology.


BeenLiedTo

 

[BeenLiedTo]

By being an "under the radar out", you may provide a safe contact for any family members who are considering getting out. By not being publicly "out", they can still be in touch with you. By knowing that you are "privately out", they can feel safe in discussing doubts with you without fear that you will "write them up", and also be sure that if they leave, they will have at least one family member who will still talk to them.

How do I let them know that I am privately out? They are "diehard" in.....Upper OT levels, SO, Staff etc.....


BeenLiedTo

 

[BeenLiedTo]

Welcome Out Been Lied To. :dancer::dancer:

I think it helps to heal by not allowing Scientology to suppress you.

You can stay under the radar and Suppress Scientology. Get your "create" on.:wink2:

Create a cult recovery group in your area. I posted on Craigslist and found a few members that wanted to meet to discuss our recovering process.

EXSMB became a great "group" to vent to.

Best Board to let it rip!

Welcome Out and so happy to have you here. Tell your story but twist it up a bit to fuck with OSA.

( Oh yeah....I almost forgot ... FUCK YOU OSA)

WOW!! You have some great ideas....thank you!!!! I will see what I can do. Better to feel at cause.....(I know....lingo, but sometimes I don't know how to say it in wog lol).


BeenLiedTo

 

[Enthetan]

How do I let them know that I am privately out? They are "diehard" in.....Upper OT levels, SO, Staff etc.....

If you haven't done a service in years, don't feel like going to events, don't even feel like doing a remote extension course on "The Basics" -- they will generally get the picture, even if they choose to stay safe by never verbalizing what they suspect.

Have they been pushing you to be on course? Have they tried to get you to buy books or audio lectures? Have they called you to get you to go to some "event" at the org? If the answer is "no", then it means that they know you are "out", and want to preserve contact with you by not pushing things to the point where they risk having you scream "I'm OUT, okay? It's all bullshit!".

Any of them who understands you are (to some degree or other) "out", and who still wants to preserve contact with you, is possibly not as "diehard" as you presume. Somebody who is "diehard" will berate you into being more active, and will cut communication if you refuse.

 

[BeenLiedTo]

If you haven't done a service in years, don't feel like going to events, don't even feel like doing a remote extension course on "The Basics" -- they will generally get the picture, even if they choose to stay safe by never verbalizing what they suspect.

Have they been pushing you to be on course? Have they tried to get you to buy books or audio lectures? Have they called you to get you to go to some "event" at the org? If the answer is "no", then it means that they know you are "out", and want to preserve contact with you by not pushing things to the point where they risk having you scream "I'm OUT, okay? It's all bullshit!".

Any of them who understands you are (to some degree or other) "out", and who still wants to preserve contact with you, is possibly not as "diehard" as you presume. Somebody who is "diehard" will berate you into being more active, and will cut communication if you refuse.

Good point....they don't anymore.....they don't push and haven't in about two to three years. I haven't done anything (event, course etc) in years. Maybe they got the hint.


BeenLiedTo

 

[Lulu Belle]

If you haven't done a service in years, don't feel like going to events, don't even feel like doing a remote extension course on "The Basics" -- they will generally get the picture, even if they choose to stay safe by never verbalizing what they suspect.

Have they been pushing you to be on course? Have they tried to get you to buy books or audio lectures? Have they called you to get you to go to some "event" at the org? If the answer is "no", then it means that they know you are "out", and want to preserve contact with you by not pushing things to the point where they risk having you scream "I'm OUT, okay? It's all bullshit!".

Any of them who understands you are (to some degree or other) "out", and who still wants to preserve contact with you, is possibly not as "diehard" as you presume. Somebody who is "diehard" will berate you into being more active, and will cut communication if you refuse.

Totally agree.