maverick20
New Member
Heart broken and teary eyed I am now a scientologist outside of the church.... I do believe the Tech works still so far... I had been brought into Scientology about a year and some odd months ago now, and it really did save me. I moved across the country for my Beloved Scientology!!! I then got on staff after being told for so long that I could not be to me it was my destiny. I cried many many nights because my one purpose is to help people, to help mankind. When I came to where I am now there was a grand opening and I was doing CF for that opening and they asked me to be on staff. I told them I couldnt because I was not Qualified for it as I had asked numerous times before in my own Org. Well the lady came back to me and told me YES you can be on STAFF..... I was so happy I cried. I had dreamed of the day I could join!!! Cause to me it meant I could help endlessly and then join the SO. See my Boyfriend had introduced me to Scn. He was once in the SO. So soon I moved there which by the way was across the east coast from one extreme south to the middle part. My boyfriend could not come and he was kind of upset with me..... I wondered why for a long time..... And as I was on staff I am the kind of person who wants to know the whys and how's of everything.... And some took this as me being rude. When the Grand opening came I wanted to meet COB but people told me NO you can not talk to him unless you are spoken to... I never understood why... If he is this Theta man who is so amazing he should be flattered I wanted to talk to him. That I wanted to know where he was on the bridge. That I wanted to shake his hand and tell him of my plans to be a freedom medal winner!!! I wanted these things so bad I dreamed of them nightly. No one could tell me why I should not speak to him..... or why if I wanted a picture with this AMAZING man I couldnt have one as my trophy.... to show my children and my grand children and so on...
As time went by it was known that I was not a robot and I never would be, I seen things that I didnt believe should be the way they were and I spoke up about them.... I even told a mission from int no when she told me to do jumping jacks.... I thought the system of STATS STATS STATS bugged me.... And I also thought that being new to Scn I should not have been a DIRECTOR OF PUBLIC BOOK SALEs......... Where by the way no one helped me..... Then one day my boyfriend told me all he had found out about SCN and I was surprised. I thought he was PTS.... I tried not to tell the church the day after he told me I called in and said I was sick and I really wasnt.... Then When I went in on monday I started crying as soon as I walked through the door to the academy course room.... And I told them what he told me.... Of course they wanted us to disconnect..... But I couldnt understand why someone who loved me would lie.... They gave me all these excuses.... Then I got taken off staff. After that I was still going on course and me and my boyfriend were still together we had not spoke about the stuff again though. Until not too long ago.... But before that I was on course and I may have had some MU's but I wanted to leave because I had no twin to do TR drills with... The Head sup told me to try to find any MU's then after that I could leave..... So we shook hands on it and that is what I expected t happen.... But no... We did do the word clearig but I still wanted to go but then another Sup said I am going to get ________ and I said no!!! I hate it when you guys do this you always do this you think you can trick me but you cant!!! So we walked to the door and the lady was complaining of helping me with my drills and earlier I had heard one of them downing some thing that was said in one of the VM booklets as I was one the VM course for communication... And the boook says to do it for 2 hours and then one of the sups said no that is old!!!! I looked at him and GLARED!!!!! IN KSW you NEVER DO THAT!!!!!! NEVER!!!! and that mad me mad...... SO back to the other though: So I told the lady it was ok I would leave and she said no your not going to and I said yes I will.....And I walk out of the Courseroom to look for____ who had told me that I could leave after Word clearing. He wasnt there. So she talks me into going back into the Course room and I let her trick me again!!!!! UGH with the trickery!!!! So I go in and she says where were you last doing well? I said I have already went through this with ___ and I do not need to do it again with you. ( I was known for my attitude but that is why I was there, to better myself) So she started telling me off and I told her that I was not going to listen to this and I got up to leave she stood infront of me and I told her to move numerous times like over 20 and that is no exageration I swear!!!! Then it got really physical!!! But I made sure to not go out of PT because I do black out when I fight and I did not want to lose SCIENTOLOGY.... there was a room full of new students who seen everything!!! I kept myself in line enough to pull my phone out and I dialed 911 but then cancelled and dialed the front desk. No one helped me not even the other sup that was watching!!! I ended up in a head lock and that was when I had enough I pushed her off of me and into the book shelves. She nearly feel over, I had warned her many times I was going to do it but she wouldnt listen. so I did it. Then she grabbed me and proceeded to try to drag me out of the course room with "good control" I pushed her off of me and told her that is what I wanted from the start... Then we get outside and I try to leave she grabs the nape of my head and my arm and I start to scream!!!!! Then a SO member comes and we talk then we got to other the whole time they will not leave me by myself.... Basically in the end I got blamed because of my attitude!!! Now tell me do you not go nthere to make yourself better? So since then it has been about 4 months and now I am not contacting them and my phone number is changed....