Leaving - need advice

[programmer_guy]

Well, I could go on, but I think that's enough for now. Any advice on what might be the best way to depart would be appreciated.

Do NOT... I repeat... do NOT route out. Just leave and do not return. You will get a hard time if you do it "properly" by SCN policy. Believe me... you will get a hard time.

Needless to say, the vast majority of my friends are Scientologists, including some family members.

Therein is the pain of this for many. This will not be easy BUT you are now going to have to make a difficult decision. Somethings (with pain and anguish) are lost in the transition out of Scientology.

I wish you the best.

As the Brits say, "Keep a stiff upper lip".

 

[PirateAndBum]

I do have a question...

Is your economic survival related to being a Scientologist?

Do you work for a Scientology owned business? Do you have a business where most or all of your clients are Scientologists? Are you dependent on the Scientology network in some way?

If so, I would start figuring out a way to change that before I "came out".

If you are in LA or CW, I would consider moving.

Thank god no. No business dependencies whatsoever.

 

[Emma]

Hi Pirate & welcome!

I'm so glad you are free.

Things might get rough for you in your journey out but remember you do have people here who understand.

 

[Free to shine]

God I love your smilies Emma!

 

[Emma]

God I love your smilies Emma!

You just wait and see what I have in store for 2008!

:dancer:

 

[PirateAndBum]

Hi Pirate & welcome!

I'm so glad you are free.

Things might get rough for you in your journey out but remember you do have people here who understand.

Thanks Emma! I want to thank you all for your advice and support. It means a great deal to me. I know this is going to take some time. It's been 3 weeks already, but at least now I have a new bunch of friends to talk to about it.

At some point I will post my story. Now is not the time. It doesn't have a lot of horrors. My experience in Scn was, I thought, quite positve for the most part.

Unfortunately having been Clear for a long time and not moving up the Bridge, other than the alternate "donation" bridges, I really had come to a point where I no longer had certainty that I was going to ever get onto my OT levels this lifetime. I think this was the consideration that allowed me to say, well F* it, I'm going to go look. I now have renewed hope and that is quite a thing in itself - to find that by leaving that which promised me what I so desired, I now actually have a better shot at arriving! And with a much less torturous (and expensive) path.

The Pirate

 

[Pierrot]

Ha! This is what it comes to. No date. Pierrot the jazz bum!

I'd really like to look this one up again as among the thousands I don't
recall that one.

You had me looking, for data read about 20 yrs ago - HCO POLICY LETTER OF 25 JUNE 1967 - and yes, that Jazz thing, conceptual understanding of the music then extrapolations, inversions, reverse et al. Replace "tax people" by CofS.

"The tax people aren't going to accept anything at all anyway ever without challenge. If you are challenged, you better have the REAL facts right there. This doesn't mean one should tell them all the truth in a geyser and gush. The real stable datum in handling tax people is NEVER VOLUNTEER ANY INFORMATION."

 

[Div6]

P&B,

Welcome. The LRH death cert and cover up was what opened my eyes to the blatent criminality at the top of the scio org board. Have you seen Robert Vaughn Young's writings on this?


As for Bridge progrss, I had attested to Clear in the CoS. Since leaving, I have done up through OT IV, and 2 L's. I will do my last L in 2008 and get going on Nots as well...


As to what to do re: the Cos? Just get on with your life. When the local org HAS eventually got around to call me, I met with her on neutral ground and gave her my wins for 1 1/2 hours (she was OT V Gat and could NOT control theta comm..). I then told her DM is an SP, and laid out why, and in what ways, and that I disconnect from him....

She tried to defend him, but it was really weak....she promised goldenrod, but has yet to deliver...its been oVer 2 years now,

Good luck.

 

[petraph33]

Thanks Emma! I want to thank you all for your advice and support. It means a great deal to me. I know this is going to take some time. It's been 3 weeks already, but at least now I have a new bunch of friends to talk to about it.

At some point I will post my story. Now is not the time. It doesn't have a lot of horrors. My experience in Scn was, I thought, quite positve for the most part.

Unfortunately having been Clear for a long time and not moving up the Bridge, other than the alternate "donation" bridges, I really had come to a point where I no longer had certainty that I was going to ever get onto my OT levels this lifetime. I think this was the consideration that allowed me to say, well F* it, I'm going to go look. I now have renewed hope and that is quite a thing in itself - to find that by leaving that which promised me what I so desired, I now actually have a better shot at arriving! And with a much less torturous (and expensive) path.

The Pirate

Hi Pirate and welcome here!!
I think you are well on the right path already and the advices given are very helpfull. I am declared and my brother disconnected from me because of that just last year. I have to live with that for now. But I also realized what it really means to have friends one can depend on. None of those still in care about me as a person and that was the hardest thing for me to realize. I am now living a happy life with real friends and I have no regrets on making my point known loud and clear even if that meant to become a Super Person.... I attempted to get other friends of mine to look and see for themselves, and they must have reported me to ethics for this, and then I got declared. I was so surprised about my reaction when I did get the declare in writing (which I had to insist on), and it was a total end of cycle for me in a very good way. I wish you all the best and I am sure that reading through this board will help you a lot. Enjoy your new found freedom!

 

[Pooks]

Welcome P and B!

I'm so happy you found this board!. I too was in Scn for
almost 30 years and discovered the truth about Scn
from the internet.

I sure wish this board was around when I first got out.

All I can do is agree with much of what has been said,
take your time, gather your thoughts, and enjoy life
without the C of S telling you how to live it. You're
leaving might actually help to wake up a few of the people
still in.

This board is an excellent source of information and just
plain old communication to help sort things out.

Congradulations! You've made it out. Not a small feat!

Patty

 

[Royal Prince Xenu]

Pirate, you have made what is, for people in your situation, a very difficult choice but, rest assured that you have made the right one. You cannot stay "faithful" to anything once you discover the flaws.

If you've read enough, you'll know that "routing out" is not the way to go about it. "Walking out" is.

You will lose friends. They will be made to do "doubt" formulae defining their friends and Scns in good standing.

You will gain friends. This board is full of devout EX-Scns, devout Squirrels, and other people who in their own way are trying to stay "true to the tech".

I met Heber Jentz, and I'm horrified to think that someone as devoted and uptone as he was, is now locked away in the pit of hell known as the SP HALL. He may have been a figure head, but he believed in the Snake Oil he was peddling.

When someone starts on you about "the greatest good for the greatest number of dynamics" come back at them with, "If I don't have my first dynamic figured out, how the hell can I be of any good to the rest of them?"

You're constantly programmed that Scn is the biggest most important game on the planet. Take the time out to smell the roses, and realize that you can enjoy the smaller things as well.

 

[Dulloldfart]

Welcome to a different world, P&B.

Integrity is wonderful, but it has its price.

The good news is that there are lots of new friends to be made, lots of effective choices in the tech arena at no or reasonable cost, and an awful lot of insanity you just don't have to deal with any more.

All the best to you,
Paul

 

[Bea Kiddo]

Hey P&B, welcome to the board.

I have not been through what you are going through, because I was declared straight from the SO by Comm Ev. Since being out (over 4 years), I do not get bothered or harrassed by the church at all (knock on wood). I think its the best thing that ever happened to me.

When I was declared, I lost all of my friends. And most of my family. I only had my grandmother to talk to, who did not really know what was going on.

Since then I have reconnected to my entire family, except my mother, who is in the SO. I think I might let her back into my life, if she gets out of there someday. But I am willing to forgive her for what she has done to myself and to our family.

I am amazed how anti-Scn my family is. She is clueless. She thinks they are all interested in getting on the Bridge. She has told me these things repeatedly. They TOLERATE her. They can't stand her, and what she has done to take the family apart and keep myself and my brother from the rest of the family, and keep my father out of the picture for 25 years.

All that is fixed. She is the only one who is clueless at this point.

----

But being out, at first was very scary. Expecially losing all my friends. But I made new ones. And I found nice, big hearted people in the real world. Better friends. People not controlled by a church. And that was cool.

---

Just things for you to ponder... You have friends here on this board too.

 

[Alanzo]

I remember when I was getting out, Tory Christman was getting out at about the same time. She had been in for 30 years, too.

She said something that really rang true for me:

What kind of friend disconnects from you just because you disagree about a philosophy?

They aren't friends at all.

There is no friendship in Scientology because LRH controlled all the loyalties. He could not allow any loyalty to anyone but to himself and to his own income lines. No real loyalty to friends or to family was ever allowed.

Well, out here in the real world, there can be true loyalty and true friendship.

Those things are ultimately impossible in the Church of Scientology.

 

[Voltaire's Child]

I think that how a person leaves is pretty individual. What's best for one person may not be best for another.

I do know people who've quietly walked away rather than announcing it to CofS. This way, they are spared the hassles and heartbreaks.

Some people don't want to do it that way.

It's really up to you but that's A way.

 

[PirateAndBum]

I'll keep you all informed as things develop. Happy New Year!

 

[The Oracle]

Hi all, this is a great board. I'm so glad I found you all! I have been a Scientologist for over 30 years and have decided to leave the Church. I can't believe in all these years I never once looked at the "entheta" on the net.

About 3 weeks ago I met someone online that I was telling about Scientology. He came back to me with the datum that LRH had died under suspicious circumstances with psych drugs in his system. I of course thought this was complete BS. So, I went online to see where he might have found this crap! HAHA, the proverbial cat lept out of the bag in very short order. After reading the autopsy documents I knew I had been lied to in a very important matter; what other lies were there... OMG! For all of you this is old news, but for me is was a revelation and confirmation of doubts I have had since IG Bulletin #25 was placed in my hands a number of years ago - which I considered to be alter-is of the tech.

I devoured the data on the net, day after day, and it wasn't long before I knew that I could no longer be a member of the C of S.

Now, what you all could help me with is this: What is the best way to inform the Church? I have been a very active member of the field for many years, and my absence is already causing a flap Needless to say, the vast majority of my friends are Scientologists, including some family members. I have considered just not saying anything, but I don't see that that tactic is going to work too well, just trying to lay low, due to expectations for contribution which I am no longer inclined to make. I know that leaving the Church is going to get me declared a Super Person and I will thusly loose these friends and family members.

I have to say that it is quite an experience to come to this point after spending over half a lifetime dedicated to it. It is also quite freeing. It is something to experience coming out from under the squash of comformance. It is also enturbulating, wondering what is going to happen by doing this (action from the Church.) It also has smashed the stable datum of the "Bridge" and this is the most difficult issue to deal with. How am I to go OT now? So many things in the FZ, what is good, bad. So many uncertainties where there once was a stable datum.

Well, I could go on, but I think that's enough for now. Any advice on what might be the best way to depart would be appreciated.

Best,

P&B

Why do you have to "inform the Church" unless you are doing a doubt formula? I moved on, I decided it was best, but I didn't make any noise about it. You have a right to live however you want. So do they. I really never came to any conclusion the Church needed to be attacked or suppressed as a whole. I think evolution is very important and they have some serious internal problems. They are living in a way that is unreal to me. That doesn't mean I am interested in making anyone there feel bad or threatening them in any way.

My motto:

desiderata - by max ehrmann
Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence.

As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant, they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit.

If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism. Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love, for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is perennial as the grass.

Take kindly to the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be, and whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world.

Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

Max Ehrmann c.1920

Good luck, keep it fun. T.I.

 

[Kathy (ImOut)]

I'm late to this thread. I only joined this message board recently and this is my first post.

I'll tell you how my husband and I handled leaving. We moved out of the state that we were living in. On the day of our departure we sent our requests for repayment of money on account. They don't know where we are. Sure they (CofS) can find us easily enough if they wanted to.

We have gotten letters of our Declares, but we've never received our actual goldenrods. But we were told it says that we got Refunds. Just another lie in their long list of lies.

The strangest thing is that since the Declares I've gotten calls on my cell phone (didn't change the number) to come to AOLA and do my OT 3. And I've gotten numerous calls to come to whatever event is happening. I politely inform the caller for the events that I've been declared and that they should check their records. Husband and I find it all very comical.

Just like Pirate & Bum we wanted to tell our "friends" to leave while they could, but decided against it.

We're coming on two years of being out and it's been difficult and freeing at different times. But it's getting easier. And the one friend I was missing, contacted me and is also out (just not "announced").

My suggestion, just quietly slip away. No need to inform anyone. They'll get the message when you stop answering the phone calls. If they catch you on the phone, just say you've been very busy handling life. Before I left and was just not on service, that response usually shut up the caller. They have no way to respond.

I'm just "sorry" I went back in 2004. That was the worst auditing I'd ever gotten. Golden Age of Tech is in my opinion the Golden Age of Cr@p. My life got worse after the auditing I got in 2004. I've slowly come out of that mess, but it's been a struggle.

Good luck to you. Just keep in YOUR Code of Honor.

 

[Alanzo]

I'm late to this thread. I only joined this message board recently and this is my first post.

I'll tell you how my husband and I handled leaving. We moved out of the state that we were living in. On the day of our departure we sent our requests for repayment of money on account. They don't know where we are. Sure they (CofS) can find us easily enough if they wanted to.

We have gotten letters of our Declares, but we've never received our actual goldenrods. But we were told it says that we got Refunds. Just another lie in their long list of lies.

The strangest thing is that since the Declares I've gotten calls on my cell phone (didn't change the number) to come to AOLA and do my OT 3. And I've gotten numerous calls to come to whatever event is happening. I politely inform the caller for the events that I've been declared and that they should check their records. Husband and I find it all very comical.

Just like Pirate & Bum we wanted to tell our "friends" to leave while they could, but decided against it.

We're coming on two years of being out and it's been difficult and freeing at different times. But it's getting easier. And the one friend I was missing, contacted me and is also out (just not "announced").

My suggestion, just quietly slip away. No need to inform anyone. They'll get the message when you stop answering the phone calls. If they catch you on the phone, just say you've been very busy handling life. Before I left and was just not on service, that response usually shut up the caller. They have no way to respond.

I'm just "sorry" I went back in 2004. That was the worst auditing I'd ever gotten. Golden Age of Tech is in my opinion the Golden Age of Cr@p. My life got worse after the auditing I got in 2004. I've slowly come out of that mess, but it's been a struggle.

Good luck to you. Just keep in YOUR Code of Honor.

Welcome ImOut - and congratulations to you and your husband!!!

I think you'll find lots of new friends here who share a "common reality" with you.

Look over the "My Story from Inside Scientology" section and feel free to start your own thread.

Telling your story can be very freeing and therapeutic for everyone!

 

[Dulloldfart]

I'm just "sorry" I went back in 2004. That was the worst auditing I'd ever gotten. Golden Age of Tech is in my opinion the Golden Age of Cr@p. My life got worse after the auditing I got in 2004. I've slowly come out of that mess, but it's been a struggle.

Hey ImOut. Welcome to ESMB.

A few people here give free sessions. I do most of my free sessions via such applications as Paul's Robot Auditor at www.paulsrobot.com. It works great including running out bad auditing if you wish.

Paul