Leaving - need advice

[Free to shine]

I'm late to this thread. I only joined this message board recently and this is my first post.

Welcome to you!
As Alanzo says, it's a good idea to read the story section and you soon find so many people with similar experiences.

 

[Kathy (ImOut)]

A bit off topic - but a cool cognition

Thank you for the warm welcomes.

I'm doing pretty good and don't think I need a session. Wow, haven't had the need/urge to say that in a long time. It created an interesting sensation - I DON'T NEED A SESSION. I've learned to handle life all on my own. The way I used to handle life before Scn.

Now I feel like I did just have a session with a real F/N.

 

[Free to shine]

Thank you for the warm welcomes.

I'm doing pretty good and don't think I need a session. Wow, haven't had the need/urge to say that in a long time. It created an interesting sensation - I DON'T NEED A SESSION. I've learned to handle life all on my own. The way I used to handle life before Scn.

Now I feel like I did just have a session with a real F/N.

Woohoo! Good for you!

 

[Kathy (ImOut)]

Woohoo! Good for you!

It was pretty exciting!

 

[Colleen K. Peltomaa]

I second that emotion, WA HOO

 

[Alan]

I'm late to this thread. I only joined this message board recently and this is my first post.

I'll tell you how my husband and I handled leaving. We moved out of the state that we were living in. On the day of our departure we sent our requests for repayment of money on account. They don't know where we are. Sure they (CofS) can find us easily enough if they wanted to.

We have gotten letters of our Declares, but we've never received our actual goldenrods. But we were told it says that we got Refunds. Just another lie in their long list of lies.

The strangest thing is that since the Declares I've gotten calls on my cell phone (didn't change the number) to come to AOLA and do my OT 3. And I've gotten numerous calls to come to whatever event is happening. I politely inform the caller for the events that I've been declared and that they should check their records. Husband and I find it all very comical.

Just like Pirate & Bum we wanted to tell our "friends" to leave while they could, but decided against it.

We're coming on two years of being out and it's been difficult and freeing at different times. But it's getting easier. And the one friend I was missing, contacted me and is also out (just not "announced").

My suggestion, just quietly slip away. No need to inform anyone. They'll get the message when you stop answering the phone calls. If they catch you on the phone, just say you've been very busy handling life. Before I left and was just not on service, that response usually shut up the caller. They have no way to respond.

I'm just "sorry" I went back in 2004. That was the worst auditing I'd ever gotten. Golden Age of Tech is in my opinion the Golden Age of Cr@p. My life got worse after the auditing I got in 2004. I've slowly come out of that mess, but it's been a struggle.

Good luck to you. Just keep in YOUR Code of Honor.

Hi Mr and Mrs ImOut - welcome to one of the funnest - saddest places on the net!

Alan

 

[Colleen K. Peltomaa]

Now, what you all could help me with is this: What is the best way to inform the Church?

With Tone 40 Flippancy!

 

[Kathy (ImOut)]

With Tone 40 Flippancy!

The staff don't understand flippancy anymore. I had one stone (excuse me, staff member) look at me as if I were completely off my rocker when I used flippancy on her. My dear reg had to explain it to her. So sad, did the church also get rid of that reference - Spirit of Play. It's my theme to life. Otherwise I'd have to spend my days crying.

 

[Colleen K. Peltomaa]

My approach has been to inform the Church that I am all for Scientology but not for the squirreling of Scientology.

I showed them how the Church was squirreling in their dealing with me and what they had to do in terms of following LRH tech and policy.

I have openly disagreed with the Church where they are squirreling, and they have left me alone.

They know they can exercise no power over me.

I am still in "good standing" with the Church.

The correct product of Scientology is SELF-DETERMINISM.

Use it, and tell the Church to use it too and not be robotic.

.

I like the way you handled them.

 

[Colleen K. Peltomaa]

The staff don't understand flippancy anymore. I had one stone (excuse me, staff member) look at me as if I were completely off my rocker when I used flippancy on her. My dear reg had to explain it to her. So sad, did the church also get rid of that reference - Spirit of Play. It's my theme to life. Otherwise I'd have to spend my days crying.

Off with their Heads!!!

 

[Colleen K. Peltomaa]

Vinaire, I haven't had any squirrel handling from the local org to speak of and I'm not particularly interested in trying to explain my reasons for leaving, because, as many here have said, noone is going understand.

Alanzo, it isn't that I want to do a doubt formula annoucement. It's that we get 4-6 calls a day from the org. Many of the staff are good friends and are in mystery as to the cut comm. But your point is well taken, thank you.

I really don't want to put it on their lines Yet being out of comm is creating a situation that probably is going to result in a visit to my home.

I guess I'm just trying to prolong the inevitable. I wonder how long it will take to work up the ethics gradients to being declared for not answering the phone?

No doubt, they will try to handle us. Of that I am quite sure.

P&B

Turn those TRs on and learn to say, "NO". It's funny, I recall the three phrases I was taught to say, "That does not indicate", "I'll have to check my FP", and "Show me the reference, please". If you need to stall for time, say, "I'm having some big cognitions and am busy re-arranging my universe, this is soooo intense." Okay, I know that's lame, but It sounds so "Valley" to me.

 

[Kathy (ImOut)]

Off with their Heads!!!

Exactly!!!!

 

[Colleen K. Peltomaa]

Do you have significant monies on account that you need refunded? I know some people who can help you with that cycle. I did not have to fill out any of their forms or come in for any handlings.

 

[Colleen K. Peltomaa]

"Pirate and bum" is a cool nick!

If you wish to minimise personal interaction and problems with COS
just be elusive. They ring you up to confirm you for an event, say
"I'm coming." And don't. They wish to reg you, tell a story as to why you can't pay for anything. A true story is quite acceptable. But needs to be a story a reg can't bust down. If you can be tough and know something of policy ect, be quite overt about not wanting to be harrassed. Its not in
the list of SP actions to refuse to be regged.

They come to the door, don't let them in. Give any old excuse you wish, but politely cut the comm.

I can testify that these all work as I did them for many years. I too didn't
want to hurt these guys. In a sense they are me and I am them.

IMO the last stated action was non optimum. I was puzzled as for years I had been promoting how one can do all including upper levels outside COS.
Really high profile. St Hill didn't seem to know. Even after I told a couple of
call in people about " Tech outside COS", and the Freezone, still got call in.

Till DM did an event at St Hill. Then I got called by a sweet E/O and deadfiled.

In a broader view, if you still wish to follow the tech, you may wish to let people know they can do it outside the auspices of DM and COS. And much
cheaper! And with less hassle!

It may speed up a declare or something, but so what.

You got close family and friends in, the stealth route may be best.
Otherwise, just try to help your friends escape would be good.

Your call.

Almost every Scientologist I knew in LA made full use of their voice mail feature, and yes, many said they were coming, etc., and then did not show up. Some Scientologists would tell me that they had an ARC break with the church. One Scientologist told me that he had an ARC break with Ron. At the time I thought it was dangerously close to heresy, but I let it slide, as being part of his case handling.

Let's face it, if you were dead broke, writhing on the floor and frothing at the mouth, you would be left alone. So, which one of the above are you not?

 

[Colleen K. Peltomaa]

Veda, thanks for the links. OK, I see the point. Having personally been on org staff I have been to the fringe of level 4 and the net has provide a journey to the inner core - level 6.

The paradox of LRH is really something to try to wrap your wits around. A brilliant, but flawed man.

His charm was definitely an illusion.

 

[Colleen K. Peltomaa]

I agree with those who advise you to just ignore the CofS. THEY think you should do something, apply conditions, apply formulas, write this and sit over there, explain, justify, wait over here.

First step in getting out. Stop thinking like a Churchie. You owe them nothing. You don't have to follow their rules any more. You're DONE with that.

If someone from the church asks you something, ignore them, change the subject, tell them you'll have to get back to them, don't worry. They no longer have any power to do anything to you.

Start living your life free.

Above all, don't try to reason with them, or explain yourself.

 

[Colleen K. Peltomaa]

Welcome to a different world, P&B.

Integrity is wonderful, but it has its price.

The good news is that there are lots of new friends to be made, lots of effective choices in the tech arena at no or reasonable cost, and an awful lot of insanity you just don't have to deal with any more.

All the best to you,
Paul

Yup, the sooner you find out who your real friends are (aka a real sincere doubt formula), the happier you will be. Send love to all those who part from you with the knowledge that time and truth are on your side.

The sooner you can start working to help keep others from falling for the false promises and lies of the CofS, the better you will feel about yourself.

 

[Alanzo]

Above all, don't try to reason with them, or explain yourself.

Good point.

Getting you to endlessly explain yourself is only a way to wear you down.

I remember when I was on my way out, I found myself explaining my intentions and what I was trying to accomplish over and over. And it all kept being misunderstood over and over. And then I'd be sent to another terminal for it to happen all over again. And again.

I began to realize that a true friend does not get you to explain yourself, or to defend yourself, over and over.

That's when I developed the "two times" rule: If I had fully explained myself once, and then I found myself explaining myself again, there would not be a third time.

A true friend would seek to understand and then let me be.

But an enemy, or someone who was simply getting me to do something for their own purposes and not for mine, would keep trying to get me to defend myself by explaining myself over and over.

By their attempts to get me to explain, I knew them.

Don't let it happen to you.

 

[Colleen K. Peltomaa]

Hi Pirate and welcome here!!
I think you are well on the right path already and the advices given are very helpfull. I am declared and my brother disconnected from me because of that just last year. I have to live with that for now. But I also realized what it really means to have friends one can depend on. None of those still in care about me as a person and that was the hardest thing for me to realize. I am now living a happy life with real friends and I have no regrets on making my point known loud and clear even if that meant to become a Super Person.... I attempted to get other friends of mine to look and see for themselves, and they must have reported me to ethics for this, and then I got declared. I was so surprised about my reaction when I did get the declare in writing (which I had to insist on), and it was a total end of cycle for me in a very good way. I wish you all the best and I am sure that reading through this board will help you a lot. Enjoy your new found freedom!

Yes, you can kiss your friends goodbye (for now). Fortunately, my beloved FSM, Nancy West, and then, Yogi Berger both passed on before I had a chance to tell them of the results of my doubt condition. I did lose the friendship of Barb and Doug Carr and Michael Kaufman and Art Harmon and Lee Terbush, and stopped contacting some others. I hope someday their eyes are opened to the blatant lies orchestrated by CofS.

Only you can know the best way to speak with your family members on this subject.

 

[Colleen K. Peltomaa]

Good point.

Getting you to endlessly explain yourself is only a way to wear you down.

I remember when I was on my way out, I found myself explaining my intentions and what I was trying to accomplish over and over. And it all kept being misunderstood over and over. And then I'd be sent to another terminal for it to happen all over again. And again.

I began to realize that a true friend does not get you to explain yourself, or to defend yourself, over and over.

That's when I developed the "two times" rule: If I had fully explained myself once, and then I found myself explaining myself again, there would not be a third time.

A true friend would seek to understand and then let me be.

But an enemy, or someone who was simply getting me to do something for their own purposes and not for mine, would keep trying to get me to defend myself by explaining myself over and over.

By their attempts to get me to explain, I knew them.

Don't let it happen to you.

Alanzo, did you also notice those damned long comm lags on their responses to what you were telling them?